krys_____

awww, I feel loved now... thanks everyone for making me cheer up.

It's all good, for the moment... it's just my fucked up reaction to people who are destroying themselves with alcohol. I know, I know, I'm a hypocrit, I have been drinking it up myself... the difference here is that I can stop at one or two drinks, don't have to drink every night, and don't turn into a miserable prick (like my mom) when I do indulge... that's the issues I am having lately.

What's worse, he and I are not dating anymore, not for some time, but I care about him still of course and he about me, but he is hurt by the whole lesbian thing and I feel such utter guilt about that. You have no idea. Now, that does not excuse him being a miserable prick to me, by no means, but it doesn't help me to not feel worthless and like a horrible person at times, I am only human aren't I?

Things are better, hopefully. He gets another chance to remain a room mate. If he doesn't stop, it's his perogative, but I won't sit by and watch him spiral. I can't, it hurts too much. He has so much to offer and he is wasting it in his own demise.