I really need to evaluate how I live my life, more to the point, how I view things and how I react to things. This causes much duress in my life. I think I need to come up with new rules... the rules I have been living under have become too weighty for me. Let's see, where to begin.
Rule 1: Stop analyzing everything to death! This includes worrying, fixating, obsessing, and/or rehashing everything that happens. People don't like it, and it makes me feel like I have no control.
Rule 2: STOP WORRYING!!! About every little thing!!! (I know I included this in the first rule, but obviously this is something I really need to work on.)
Rule 3: Stop being so judgemental. Just stop it; just because people have hurt you in the past doesn't mean that everyone is out to hurt you. Learn to trust more, and stop thinking that relationships and basic human interaction will ultimately be futile.
Rule 4: Stop being so sensitive... again, this is a trust issue, but it is also it's own separate entity that consumes you. People are not being cruel on purpose.
Rule 5: Stop being so ego-driven. It really isn't all about you. (And contradictorily, because I am such an enigma)....
Rule 6: Stop being hard on yourself...just stop it. There are many things I have to be proud of, and this should overshadow any flaws I have. (Not negating the flaws, that what the rules are being put into place for, so I start abiding by them. However, start realizing that the good qualities I have are just that, good qualities, and I should be proud of them.)
Rule 7: Stop trying to fix other people because you are too afraid to fix yourself. Don't mistake me, other people's pain is real and important, but I spend far too much time trying to help others who may not always be eager to recieve the help, or may resent me for it. Allow other people their autonomy and the freedom to make their own mistakes. (And stop trying to control them!!!)
Rule 8: Stop apologizing for everything!!! Especially those things outside of the scope of your own control. I need to learn that I can't control everything, and as such it is not my fault. I should be fined a quarter for every time I apologize needlessly to people, that might be the only way to stop this habit.
Rule 9: Stop blaming others for how I govern myself now, like, oh... my parents. I am my own judge, mentor, and savior now, it's up to me to be responsible for my actions, no matter what has been done to me in the past.
Rule 10: Learn to chill the fuck out!!! Stop stressing over everything. That is really what it's all about, and I know this rule is just repetition (in some form) of all the other rules listed previously... but this is really applicable. If I learn to let things go, I will be a better person for doing it, and this will filter down to make me an overall happier, more giving, more worthy person. It will also make those who are important to me more content with my state of mind. Allow myself to lose control, and let what happens happen, and then learn to take it as it comes.
This will become my new code of conduct. I need to learn to not do the things that bring suffering, to myself and to others. I need to learn to stop and think about things and weigh the consequences that my actions cause, or else there will be a reckoning. I am at the verge of pushing everyone away with my behaviours, everyone who has ever mattered to me, and I need to stop doing that. I need to be aware of my bad behaviours, because with that awareness comes power to do what I have not been able to do in the past... be utterly happy.
I think I needed a new list of rules... heh, or in this case "Commandments"... leave it to me to make some religious innuendo.
oh well, the christian 10 commandments never did anything for me, so I have to invent my own.
Now I just have to learn to live by them.
Rule 1: Stop analyzing everything to death! This includes worrying, fixating, obsessing, and/or rehashing everything that happens. People don't like it, and it makes me feel like I have no control.
Rule 2: STOP WORRYING!!! About every little thing!!! (I know I included this in the first rule, but obviously this is something I really need to work on.)
Rule 3: Stop being so judgemental. Just stop it; just because people have hurt you in the past doesn't mean that everyone is out to hurt you. Learn to trust more, and stop thinking that relationships and basic human interaction will ultimately be futile.
Rule 4: Stop being so sensitive... again, this is a trust issue, but it is also it's own separate entity that consumes you. People are not being cruel on purpose.
Rule 5: Stop being so ego-driven. It really isn't all about you. (And contradictorily, because I am such an enigma)....
Rule 6: Stop being hard on yourself...just stop it. There are many things I have to be proud of, and this should overshadow any flaws I have. (Not negating the flaws, that what the rules are being put into place for, so I start abiding by them. However, start realizing that the good qualities I have are just that, good qualities, and I should be proud of them.)
Rule 7: Stop trying to fix other people because you are too afraid to fix yourself. Don't mistake me, other people's pain is real and important, but I spend far too much time trying to help others who may not always be eager to recieve the help, or may resent me for it. Allow other people their autonomy and the freedom to make their own mistakes. (And stop trying to control them!!!)
Rule 8: Stop apologizing for everything!!! Especially those things outside of the scope of your own control. I need to learn that I can't control everything, and as such it is not my fault. I should be fined a quarter for every time I apologize needlessly to people, that might be the only way to stop this habit.
Rule 9: Stop blaming others for how I govern myself now, like, oh... my parents. I am my own judge, mentor, and savior now, it's up to me to be responsible for my actions, no matter what has been done to me in the past.
Rule 10: Learn to chill the fuck out!!! Stop stressing over everything. That is really what it's all about, and I know this rule is just repetition (in some form) of all the other rules listed previously... but this is really applicable. If I learn to let things go, I will be a better person for doing it, and this will filter down to make me an overall happier, more giving, more worthy person. It will also make those who are important to me more content with my state of mind. Allow myself to lose control, and let what happens happen, and then learn to take it as it comes.
This will become my new code of conduct. I need to learn to not do the things that bring suffering, to myself and to others. I need to learn to stop and think about things and weigh the consequences that my actions cause, or else there will be a reckoning. I am at the verge of pushing everyone away with my behaviours, everyone who has ever mattered to me, and I need to stop doing that. I need to be aware of my bad behaviours, because with that awareness comes power to do what I have not been able to do in the past... be utterly happy.
I think I needed a new list of rules... heh, or in this case "Commandments"... leave it to me to make some religious innuendo.
oh well, the christian 10 commandments never did anything for me, so I have to invent my own.
Now I just have to learn to live by them.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I have problems with over analyzing things, so I am always stressed out.
Hope you are well love!
Hi there! Good luck with following those rules.
I took the liberty of having a peek at your pics (hope you don't mind). Have you ever thought about working with stained glass? There is a compelling luminoscity in your work which I connect with and the linear elements seem to compound it.
Later!