My daddy passed away this morning. What a weird feeling. He had been sick for about 8 months, with an official diagnosis made in October. Small Cell Lung Cancer with mets to pancreas, bones, and (during his last few days, they suspect) his brain.
It's such a bittersweet feeling. I am so glad that he is no longer in pain, but I am going to miss him so much. He was the one who inspired me with music. He was also the one who encouraged me to read and expand my horizons as well as my vocabulary. I just can't imagaine what it would have been growing up without him.
There were times when I was growing up when I thought terrible things about him. I wanted my mom to leave him. I hated to be around him. I would avoid him at all costs. But as I grew up and as I was able to talk to him without worrying about the repercussions, I learned that he really did have a big heart and he was so so smart. He always had the best jokes and damn could he deliver a story.
It is so hard to think that he won't be around to give me away and walk me down the isle. And it breaks my heart to know that he won't be there to hold my child or be there to see them grow up. My children will only get to hear stories about their grandpa. And that just kills me.
There have been so many people who have reached out and offered a shoulder to cry on. People that I don't even know!! It's astounding. And I am so greatful. I'm still not sure how to feel. I feel like I'm inappropriate, because we have had so many laughs today. But my dad would have wanted that. He always had an inappropriate joke. In fact, just days before he died, he told me I was getting a little thick. Like, thanks Dad! I drove 750 miles to sit at your bedside and you're dishing out insults. Love that man. I have to chuckle. So in his honor, I am getting a tatt on my "thickness" just for him. I had to cancel my photoshoot to be with my dad. So when I get that rescheduled, I'll get to unveil my new work. Whoopee! Two things my dad would absoluetly not approve of - tattoos and getting naked. Gotta love that.
So, have a drink for my dad. Raise it up and say something completely inappropriate.
That's what he would have wanted.
Dad
May 4, 1947 - March 21, 2009
Rest in Peace Daddy
Love,
Erin
It's such a bittersweet feeling. I am so glad that he is no longer in pain, but I am going to miss him so much. He was the one who inspired me with music. He was also the one who encouraged me to read and expand my horizons as well as my vocabulary. I just can't imagaine what it would have been growing up without him.
There were times when I was growing up when I thought terrible things about him. I wanted my mom to leave him. I hated to be around him. I would avoid him at all costs. But as I grew up and as I was able to talk to him without worrying about the repercussions, I learned that he really did have a big heart and he was so so smart. He always had the best jokes and damn could he deliver a story.
It is so hard to think that he won't be around to give me away and walk me down the isle. And it breaks my heart to know that he won't be there to hold my child or be there to see them grow up. My children will only get to hear stories about their grandpa. And that just kills me.
There have been so many people who have reached out and offered a shoulder to cry on. People that I don't even know!! It's astounding. And I am so greatful. I'm still not sure how to feel. I feel like I'm inappropriate, because we have had so many laughs today. But my dad would have wanted that. He always had an inappropriate joke. In fact, just days before he died, he told me I was getting a little thick. Like, thanks Dad! I drove 750 miles to sit at your bedside and you're dishing out insults. Love that man. I have to chuckle. So in his honor, I am getting a tatt on my "thickness" just for him. I had to cancel my photoshoot to be with my dad. So when I get that rescheduled, I'll get to unveil my new work. Whoopee! Two things my dad would absoluetly not approve of - tattoos and getting naked. Gotta love that.
So, have a drink for my dad. Raise it up and say something completely inappropriate.
That's what he would have wanted.
Dad
May 4, 1947 - March 21, 2009
Rest in Peace Daddy
Love,
Erin
weston:
Sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts go out to you and your family.