kryogenickiki

So Robert, my chemistry/genetics teacher, thinks there's something wrong with me. I think he thinks I'm sick or something. Today he was like, "Would you mind if I called home?" and it's like, "Well, yeah...." and he's like, "Well, if you're not acting different within a week or so I'm probably going to call home." So I really don't know what to do, mainly because I don't know what he thinks is wrong with me. He always asks me if I'm sick or remarks that I look tired, and I told him I was going to ask my doctor about stuff like that when I see her (which isn't going to be until March because the doctor's office is a bunch of fuckheads and they've moved my appointment 3 times). I asked Mark, my manager, if I seemed different than my usual self and explained what was going on and he's like, "No, but maybe Robert thinks you have an eating disorder because your skinny." and I'm like, "I eat all the goddamn time." and Mark's like, "Well yeah, but does he ever see you eat?" I don't know, I don't think it's that though. I don't care too much about school and have been contemplating dropping out of genetics (I don't need any more credits anyway, so it's not like that'd be a big deal), so maybe that's why he thinks there's something wrong with me.

But yeah, I'm not really sure what I should do. Should I take some Adderall before school so I'm all peppy and happy and eager to do my schoolwork? (Downsides: expensive and I wouldn't do it everyday, and because I'd have such extremes day to day, he'd suspect I'm on drugs.) Should I play it and act even more disinterested/tired and hope I can use that as a reason to try to get some drugs (preferrably fun ones) when I go to my doctor? Should I not care and go about doing what I always do? I don't know, but I think it's stupid that he wants to call home. I mean, yeah I do still live at home, but I'm 18 now so him reporting me 'acting different' to my mom kind of pisses me off, especially when I don't even know what his complaints about me are.

And even if I can use this as an excuse to get stuff from my doctor, they probably wouldn't give me anything fun like Adderall. They'd probably give me Prozac or some shit like that.

Smoked again at work tonight. Tanya's pretty impressed from the stuff I can get from....well, I'll just be covert and say the stuff I can get. She's just like, "It's all dro!!!" Then again, when I bought stuff through her it wasn't the greatest. I think it's kind of funny though.

And now I should be working on my genetics project which is due tomorrow, but I don't really care. I mean, I've already skipped on the test I was supposed to take, and I really don't have a lot of drive in me to pass that class. I'm not sure why I keep going, I should just be taking an extra hour of school off. Well, I guess I do know why I keep going (because there might be something interesting I can pick up, I still might want to pass the class, and if I left an hour early I'd have to walk home and it's still cold some days). Ugh, I don't feel like doing it though. On the one hand, another credit (especially one in a science field) wouldn't be bad. On the other hand, I don't need any more credits and it's not like they're going to transfer to MATC or anything.