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kronos

Bowling Green, KY

Hopeful Since 2008

Followers 827 Following 660

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Monday Nov 16, 2009

Nov 16, 2009
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Fuck HP. I go my laptop back a few days ago, and now its running slow and shit. They say they might have installed the OS wrong. UGH. So far I've had my:

- Hard Drive replaced
- RAM drive replaced
- Keyboard replaced because of broken keys
- Charger replaced because it melted and shit.

HP, I don't know what the fuck is going on, but you guys gotta get your shit together. I am much much more enjoying this sexy Sony VAIO desktop. ^^ It makes me so happy, you have no idea. Runs like a dream!

That's enough nerdom for a minute, I think. smile

In other news:

Shit just gets uglier. Everytime I turn around something is going on. And none of this shit INVOLVES me, but I am directly affected just fucking because? Just fucking because. Goddamnit.

My night out was awesome, however! I met some really cool people, and I was actually SOCIAL! Usually I am shy as a motherfucker, but I don't know. Maybe I'm just tired of being that person. Two different guys bought me a drink, which I kind of tried to duck and drink because I'm not 21, haha. I also got like 10 phone numbers which still amuses me to no end. Its been a rare occurance that a guy gave me his number in public, lol. Myspace doesn't count. The last time that happened I was working at Walmart, and this weird cashier came up and put his phone number on the belt. I turned the belt on and let it suck the number up, and he jumped to try to catch it. It was pretty hilarious. And mean of me, I know! See? I guess I'm not so innocent all the time. whatever

It kinds of dawns on me what kind of person I am in a group when someone asks, "How many people has everyone slept with?" and while everyone around me answers "10", "15", "30" I can say .. 5. Well, 4 because that one guy doesn't count. Don't make me explain why. It was once, it sucked, and I will not allow that to be considered sex! XD

My sex life is AWFUL lately. I'm not sure what to do about it, honestly. XD Nothing seems to get my guy interested in me. And when he DOES get interested, it lasts like 30 seconds. NO I'M NOT JOKING, I'M SERIOUS. In bringing that this disappoints me to his attention he says, "Uhh, well." Uhh, well, what?! And he just shrugs. He doesn't really care. It's all about him anymore. frown I mean, i heard rumors that sex goes right out the window once you get married, but I thought that from a guys point of view?? What the fuck is going on here?!?!

So back to the social, thing. I feel like I'm always viewed as the "virtuous" one or something. Maybe I am, shit. I don't feel like I'm a complete angel. in fact, I can't be. I think getting knocked up at 15 kind of knocks me right out of that category automatically! Granted it was the very first time, and I did end up marrying the guy, lol. It just seems like doing what's right, or what feels right, comes naturally to me, and I always end up on the correct path. Maybe I just have good intuition. Maybe I'm just naive. I can forgive damned near anyone for anything, which is ridiculous in every sense. It's something that I hate about myself, and yet love. I can never hold a grudge, even for the most unforgivable things. The only thing I think I could never forgive someone for is if they killed one of my children. And then I probably wouldn't get the chance to forgive them because I would kill myself. I can't even bare to imagine living without either one of my kids. They are my whole world. Everything revolves around them and their wellbeing.

I already buried one child in the ground, I refuse to put another one there without going down with them.

I am just way too sensitive and naive, I think. I consider myself a smart person, but some of the decisions I make could be better calculated, I think. I don't know.

I have a hard time figuring myself out lately. I'm such a weirdo.

shocked


VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sirkka:
wow, you're lucky you got home in one piece then! my dad told me that a girl was drugged and raped about a month ago, and they think she was drugged at 3 brothers precisely because they don't card and don't really give a shit if they serve minors. she was found in an empty lot a couple blocks away with her clothes still on but her panties missing, the last thing she remembered was coming out of 3 brothers but had no idea who drugged her. fuck that noise.
you're really not supposed to go to bars alone, as a rule of thumb. clubs or coffeehouses or shows are usually fine but bars are where shit goes down. next time i'll go with you because i reeeeeeaaally don't want to turn on the news and see your picture there. frown
[actually i don't watch the news, and i think he said the girl didn't want the story getting out and since she didn't know who did it the police didn't really investigate further, which is scary. if the bartender put something in her drink...?! i don't even wanna think about it!]
Nov 16, 2009
jeffyjr:
I hope you feel better.
Nov 17, 2009

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