Monday Jul 20, 2009

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Ok, so, I thought I had nothing interesting to post. Interestingly enough, now I do. I just returned from the Gynecologist's office. I have had 3 pap smears in the past month, all of which the results came back 'abnormal'. I also had 3 pap smears come back abnormal back in 2007 when I was pregnant with my youngest son, but as my doctor's rubbed it off as nothing and did no further tests, as did I. But now, my tests are still abnormal, and I was just informed that further tests have to be done now to see whether or not this is cervical cancer. Yes, cancer. I don't think this has actually sunk in yet. The gravity of the fact that I might have cancer, or my doctor's seem to think so at this point. I was told to stay positive, that many times abnormal cells during a pap smear can happen and many times it does not mean cancer. But, there is this impending feeling of doom I've felt hanging over my head for quite some time. Now, I think I understand why.


EDIT: ALSO Why the fuck did it become okay for someone to tell you for months that they love you and then just one day say "Hey I changed my mind! I love someone else!" WHAT THE FUCK.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sirkka:
well the odds are on your side. pap smears come back abnormal all the time. so many abnormal tests in a row is a little disconcerting but just keep your chin up and you'll be just fine.

also, i'm between two different apartments at the moment and i'll have a decision by thursday and be moved in by monday. but one is about a five minute drive to your house and the other is a five minute walk. i'll definitely be close if you need me. :]]
sirkka:
positive thinking will get you everywhere. even if you do have something wrong [which we're not even gonna think about!] then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. but you're just going to make yourself sick with worry in the meantime, so refuckinglax lady! i'm not going anywhere except closer to you so i've got your back. :]]

and since i'm so shitty with names i had to ask greg where i'm looking at apartments. there's the 1801 complex over on creason and the hillside complex by the new walmart. i have an appointment to go see the greenhaven complex on thursday but with my awful sense of direction i wouldn't wanna live there. i got lost just trying to find it again like a few hours after i went back there the first time. o.o so fuck that. but either way i'm going to be super close! you can come over and watch movies on the bigscreen tv and eat all my food! yaaaaay!

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