kristoph

So I was just walking home after escorting theknives to the train station when an interesting encounter took place.
As I approached the tiny pub on the corner, the one that always belches a stale smell of sawdust and old beer into the street and is open at 9am, I saw a couple of people standing outside. Not uncommon now that the smoking ban is in place, but there was a niggling feeling inside me that I should find a different route.
I ignored it against my better judgement.
As I get closer the man, I call him this very loosely, clocks me and slurs, "Oi mate! What the FUCK are you walkin' like that for?!"
I put my head down and attempt to push on through.
The woman, again..loosely, stands in my path and puts her hands on my chest, pushing her mangy face close to mine. "Ere, sweet'eart. Do us a favour will ya?"
I'm sure she's gonna ask for money. I have none. I'll explain this pleasently and walk away. Bidding them a good evening...
"Depends." says I.
The first guy closes in.
"Put this bloke and another two inside on yer back and carry em to the White Lion will ya?! I'm a pregnant woman love." She is drunk. Has a fag hanging from betwixt her chapped lips. Real classy broad.
I try to chuckle and show her that I've understood the ruse and I'll be on my way now thank you very much.
The guy's not having it.
"Fuck off! Fuck off am I getting anywhere near him! Look at him, he's a gay fuck! Never pulled a bit of cunt in his fucking life! Fucking queer. Did you see the way he was walking?! Why were you walking like that mate? Oi, queer, why were you walking like that? Bet you'd love to fucking have me on your back wouldn't you? Fuck off!"
You know that burning feeling in your stomach when you can feel that you're about to be kicked to within an inch of your life by a shaven...no, wait, that's an insult to apes. Lets just say that this is the kind of guy who'd probably petition for the return of LIVE TV...if he could spell...or had opposable thumbs...
Luckily my 'smile politely, put yr head down and keep walking' tactic works and while they're arguing with each other about exactly how gay I am I make good my escape. Followed down the street by more jibes about how I 'walk queer', of course, but I get away un-battered.

Can I just add that this fella had TRAM LINES shaved in his head......

The cheek.

Full london meet update to follow.
As soon as I've inished practicing my macho walk to avoid any further altercations, of course!
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