krissyjean

[Oh my goodness! There is a movie titled "SuicideGirls Must Die". Has anybody seen this shiz? I didn't watch it, because I felt grimy and needed a shower(plus, I only would have caught the end if I had recorded it), but the info said something like "The girls are picked off one by one while they do a calender shoot in the woods". What. The. Fuck? Why the hell would anybody want to make a movie like that? I mean, I get wanting to show a bunch of beautiful naked women in the woods(who wouldn't want to see that?) but why not just write something where they all discover something or some shit? Why do they have to die? Dumb shits. >

Anywho, I hung out with Rocke and April again today. I've decided that they don't want anything out of me. There's just a bunch of sexual tension. I don't think there's anything going to come out of it. I'm certain that they have been flirting, though. (I'm not insane! Yay!) I was worried that I was losing it, but I'm not. I think they just want me, but we all want to avoid that same situation as before, so nobody is ever going to make a move. So, yeah...I dunno. Gonna milk it up, I guess? We might have a sleepover Saturday. I feel some Dance Dance Revolution in the works.

I went to Rio Grande yesterday. (Was it yesterday or the day before? I'm not sure.) They never sent me the form I was told I needed, so they told me to have children services fax them proof that I was in foster care. Getting anybody to do their job anymore seems like a hassle. I have five days to get this done or I don't get to go to school. i'm going to be so pissed if I don't get to go. :/ Rio said they would get all of this done, but they didn't and it's really hard to get anyone at Children Services in Vinton County to do anything, so I'm really feeling the pressure. My dad told me he wanted me to go to school, because he thinks in a few months Jesus is going to take him to Heaven. (His words, not mine.) If I don't get to go, so help me, Rio Grande is going to feel my wrath. >

Took Gunnar with me. He took me to a party the other day. (I could've sworn I went into detail about this, but apparently not.) Well, we went to said party and he was all uncomfortable in the car. (I was as well, as it was our first time meeting, so it was alright.) But my way of dealing with feeling awkward is never shutting up, so I ranted about nonsensical things FOREVER. We went to this garage owned by a dude named Greg(I think?) and chilled there for a while. He has a friend named Patrick(Goes by Pat, but that's fucking dumb, so I refuse to call him that.) who has long hair, and I think that's odd. Like, really long. It's weird, really. Ewie. But Gunnar and I talked and he showed me his nifty "X-Ray Glasses." He was certainly a cutie in them. :3 But we went to the party after a while. The host was a freaky little ginger kid named Sherman. I found him pretentious, but it wasn't really my place to say anything. (If it hadn't been his party, I would have.) Well, I drank a bit. (Discovered I like Yuengling. Yummy! I don't think I'm much for liquor anymore, though. Bummer!) Gunnar, on the other hand, drank A LOT. He got rather drunk. We chilled on a sofa for an eternity(It was nice) And he verbally "wooed" me. It was rather romantic, but I didn't know how to respond. I always think guys are lying when they're super mushy. I'm not going to get into the details of what he said, for it was quite a bit, and I don't remember it all. (I got really sleepy.) Well, we kissed a bit, and talked some more, and he said some more sweet things, and then I convinced him to lemme sleep. All-in-all, a good night.

Well, I decided to take him to Rio Grande with me, because I assumed he would be good company, and he was, but it opened my eyes a little bit. He's STILL not comfortable with me at all. It bothers me more than it should. He's just shy, right? I dunno how to proceed from here, though. I don't dig pursuing men. It's not my thing. I'm used to men telling me they want me (In sexy, strong tones I might add) and pretty much just taking what they want. I like being submissive. It's my niche. I don't want to leave my niche. That's too difficult. =/

I'I watched "The Real L Word" today. It's pretty neat. Set some episodes to record. Kiyomi(hunter valentine?) is freaking sexy. If I get with a woman again, it's gonna be one who is just so fucking yummy like her. Dayum, that girl's got everything I want. She seems dominant, playful, and just fucking hot. Gosh. I wish she were mine for a night!

Well, that's all I have to say, so here's some random shit. (Oh, except look at my purdy new pics, and tell me what you think, my loves!)



I dig this. And I want this on a shirt. Somebody do this for me!


This is so me. It's like, one minute, I don't want anybody to want me, and the next I want everybody. What I think I really want is somebody who is real, and won't treat me like shit and hurt me. I don't want that, but I feel like no matter who it is, they're gonna end up hating me, so why try?



Gosh, been here.


Self-explanatory.


Yeah, thank you, Tyler, for showing me this, and what it is. xD Lolz



Do want.


Do you guys ever wish you could just go back in time, when boys/girls were icky and all that mattered was how people treated you? My childhood wasn't the best, but it was a lot less confusing.

Aaaaand, the moment has come for some beautiful music. :3 (Aren't you excited? I know I'm excited. -claps hands-)


Gosh, I remember when Zach sent me this back in the day, and I cried so hard, cos I thought he was the one. I was so stupid. But it makes ya think. (Well, maybe it just makes ME think), but if I don't even pay him a second thought anymore (Except to regret trusting him, cos he ended up being a shitty friend) how do I know who I'll be ten years from now? What if I'm taking everything for granted right now? How do I know what I'll want in the future? What if the one I'm meant to be with is sitting somewhere crying because I told them I'm busy, or I don't give them the time of day? How the fuck do I know I'm on the right path? :/


I don't ever want to be this person again. I'm through with one night stands and playing people, and fucking just to fuck. I want my next one to be my last one. I don't want to be hurt, and I don't want to hurt anybody else. And I just wanna be happy, like completely content, for a while. I want to know that I'm making the right choices and such. Fuck, why is adulthood so hard? Why is love so complicated? Why do people hurt people for sex? It's easy to get. There are pretty people who fuck to fuck. Look for them. Don't break anybody's heart. Try not to, at least. I know I'm going to. I don't like the person I used to be, and I want to change that.


To brighten the mood. I love this guys voice. Yum! xD haha.

Sorry bout all the depressing shit. Told you I was feeling deep. Love you all, though. <3