The Rollins show on Friday night was amazing and oh boy do I have a story for you.
About half way through the show after doing much Bush-bashing and other delightful fun things, ol Hank told us that he's met someone!
He says, "Her name is Ann"
Ok, right off the bat, I know somethings up. As a friend of mine pointed out, Henry NEVER reveals the identity of the woman he's dating, be she famous or not. It's always, "the woman I'm seeing now." He's always been very secretive about his love life.
Then he says her last name: "Coulter...."
I explode with laughter.
For those of you who don't know who Ann Coulter is you can file her under opinionated, bitter, angry, uptight, uber-right wing conservative bitchohazard.
So anyway, I know Hank is joking, and I'm laughing my ass off and saying "OH NO!!!"
Ok, then Henry hears me, sees me, points at me and not missing a beat and still keeping the sarcasm going and saving the best for last, says something to the effect of the following:
"You know here I am, on stage, in front of all these people, emotionally naked, talking about the new woman in my life and you laugh at me.....? You sir, have hurt me..."
Hank then goes off into detail about this frigid, uptight woman. He talks about how much she DESPISES pre-marital sex and how she does not have a ring n her finger. Yup, anyone can do the math on that one.
So Henry then talks about how much he'd enjoy the challenge of "deflowering" this woman, using some of the most hilarious euphamisms for fucking I've ever heard. One of them went somethign like "pounding my pogo-stick into her poontang" or something like that, but about 30 times funnier. Damn, I wish I could remember.
Then he starts reading from some of the bullshit love letters he's been writing her. Before he starts reading one, he looks at me and says: "And if you don't like it sir, I suggest you keep your opninions to yourself!"
The first half of the letter starts off all mushy, very Pepe' La Pui in nature. Then about halfway in, true to Hank's form, it turns to STALKER MODE, and he starts asking if she has 5.1 surround sound, a plasma TV, and a couch he can crash on, etc. It was a riot.
But Hank also said:
"All these letters I wrote are enough to fill a book. However, if I put it out, she'd probably sue me into the ground. So I have to change her name so that she can't sue me, but people still know who I'm talking about....so I decided to call her....ANN HITLER"
It was a great old time folks. I bought the latest volume of Talk is Cheap and a Rollins DVD called "Live at Luna Park". Very good shit: the segments where he talks about his youthful days of wrecking havoc with his pal Ian Mackeye and doing shows with Iggy Pop are nothing short of priceless.
Well, that's all for now, tomorrow night I'm going to go see Atmosphere! Yay!
Goodnight.
"Being an American, and not being cynical, is sleeping on the job." - H. Rollins.
About half way through the show after doing much Bush-bashing and other delightful fun things, ol Hank told us that he's met someone!
He says, "Her name is Ann"
Ok, right off the bat, I know somethings up. As a friend of mine pointed out, Henry NEVER reveals the identity of the woman he's dating, be she famous or not. It's always, "the woman I'm seeing now." He's always been very secretive about his love life.
Then he says her last name: "Coulter...."
I explode with laughter.
For those of you who don't know who Ann Coulter is you can file her under opinionated, bitter, angry, uptight, uber-right wing conservative bitchohazard.
So anyway, I know Hank is joking, and I'm laughing my ass off and saying "OH NO!!!"
Ok, then Henry hears me, sees me, points at me and not missing a beat and still keeping the sarcasm going and saving the best for last, says something to the effect of the following:
"You know here I am, on stage, in front of all these people, emotionally naked, talking about the new woman in my life and you laugh at me.....? You sir, have hurt me..."
Hank then goes off into detail about this frigid, uptight woman. He talks about how much she DESPISES pre-marital sex and how she does not have a ring n her finger. Yup, anyone can do the math on that one.
So Henry then talks about how much he'd enjoy the challenge of "deflowering" this woman, using some of the most hilarious euphamisms for fucking I've ever heard. One of them went somethign like "pounding my pogo-stick into her poontang" or something like that, but about 30 times funnier. Damn, I wish I could remember.
Then he starts reading from some of the bullshit love letters he's been writing her. Before he starts reading one, he looks at me and says: "And if you don't like it sir, I suggest you keep your opninions to yourself!"
The first half of the letter starts off all mushy, very Pepe' La Pui in nature. Then about halfway in, true to Hank's form, it turns to STALKER MODE, and he starts asking if she has 5.1 surround sound, a plasma TV, and a couch he can crash on, etc. It was a riot.
But Hank also said:
"All these letters I wrote are enough to fill a book. However, if I put it out, she'd probably sue me into the ground. So I have to change her name so that she can't sue me, but people still know who I'm talking about....so I decided to call her....ANN HITLER"
It was a great old time folks. I bought the latest volume of Talk is Cheap and a Rollins DVD called "Live at Luna Park". Very good shit: the segments where he talks about his youthful days of wrecking havoc with his pal Ian Mackeye and doing shows with Iggy Pop are nothing short of priceless.
Well, that's all for now, tomorrow night I'm going to go see Atmosphere! Yay!
Goodnight.
"Being an American, and not being cynical, is sleeping on the job." - H. Rollins.
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Ann wanted to wish you a happy day.