I don't know how to say this quite right:
I don't feel quite human today; I will explain:
My company announced lay-offs today, everybody knew that it was going to happen, we all speculated who wouldn't be around. I knew that I was safe because I was the head of the department, but I also volunteered to take part time pay and to reduce my hours and work from home at a discount if it would save a job. In the end, nothing happened to me, and a couple of people got laid off.
This is the third or fourth time this has happened to me, that there have been lay-offs and I made the cut, and I feel really miserable about it. Being in the company after the layoffs is somehow worse than getting laid off I think. If you get laid off you know where you stand, you update your resume, take a couple of days to feel crummy and then start looking for work. But if you are stuck there then you have to wonder if you are going to be next, how does work load increase, how are you going to fit in all your work and the work of the guy next to you, whose desk is now empty. It just doesn't seem fair.
So my reaction to these things, since I have been through a couple is to try and take the piss out of it. A girl that I work with was in tears, and she kept her job. She is 22 or so and this is the first time she has seen this and I was joking and telling her about people that I knew that got laid off and just trying to demystify it, I mean, fuck, nobody died, but everybody was walking around "like their brother or their mom just died." (Lyrics courtesy of Concrete Blonde).
And there I am cracking jokes. Somebody said, "This is really a time for joking." And I said, "Comedy is tragedy plus time." Then I turned around and walked away looked a spreadsheet for a couple minutes and left. Ironically to the orientation meeting for my second job.
I think the thing that made me feel so inhuman is that I watched everybody make this horrible shit into a fantastic drama, and they all were weepy and all I could do was to fall back on my defense mechanism and laugh.
On a happy note, I saw "The Mysterious Case of Bejamin Buttons" today and I loved it. Brad Pitt is one of those actors that I want to despise, but can't. And Cate Blanchett is one of the most beautiful woman alive.
I don't feel quite human today; I will explain:
My company announced lay-offs today, everybody knew that it was going to happen, we all speculated who wouldn't be around. I knew that I was safe because I was the head of the department, but I also volunteered to take part time pay and to reduce my hours and work from home at a discount if it would save a job. In the end, nothing happened to me, and a couple of people got laid off.
This is the third or fourth time this has happened to me, that there have been lay-offs and I made the cut, and I feel really miserable about it. Being in the company after the layoffs is somehow worse than getting laid off I think. If you get laid off you know where you stand, you update your resume, take a couple of days to feel crummy and then start looking for work. But if you are stuck there then you have to wonder if you are going to be next, how does work load increase, how are you going to fit in all your work and the work of the guy next to you, whose desk is now empty. It just doesn't seem fair.
So my reaction to these things, since I have been through a couple is to try and take the piss out of it. A girl that I work with was in tears, and she kept her job. She is 22 or so and this is the first time she has seen this and I was joking and telling her about people that I knew that got laid off and just trying to demystify it, I mean, fuck, nobody died, but everybody was walking around "like their brother or their mom just died." (Lyrics courtesy of Concrete Blonde).
And there I am cracking jokes. Somebody said, "This is really a time for joking." And I said, "Comedy is tragedy plus time." Then I turned around and walked away looked a spreadsheet for a couple minutes and left. Ironically to the orientation meeting for my second job.
I think the thing that made me feel so inhuman is that I watched everybody make this horrible shit into a fantastic drama, and they all were weepy and all I could do was to fall back on my defense mechanism and laugh.
On a happy note, I saw "The Mysterious Case of Bejamin Buttons" today and I loved it. Brad Pitt is one of those actors that I want to despise, but can't. And Cate Blanchett is one of the most beautiful woman alive.
You sound a lot like me. I think I would have reacted the same. I can be very cold at times though.
Thanks for the suggestions.
I love the page you send me of the places we live. I have a couple of streets night shoots, I would show you soon