First post since my funk post. Huh!
Well let's see, I am not feeling so crummy. What did I change? Well for one, I have changed my outlook on what my commitment level to the people around me is. I am an organizer you see. I am the guy that calls people up, makes events and plans and then orchestrates until things get a life of there own. In sailing terms (more on this in a sec) I am the guy that skippers the boat into the wind, tacks around the buoy and then gets the boat headed down wind. I enjoy it. Until the even is over, and everybody goes home. Then I sit and wait for somebody else to come up with something. And I sit, and sit, and sit; until more boredom overwhelms me and I start the whole painful task over again.
I went through a ten or fifteen day period where I was waiting for the phone to ring and it just wasn't happening. That is pretty damn frustrating. So I lowered my expectation/capability gap. Basically my friend Soren has this theory that if you expect more than someone or something is capable of providing then you will be met with disappointment. Seem logical right. If I walk into Dunkin Donuts and expect an Italian cappucino I will be sorely disappointed because Dunkin Donuts just doesn't have that capability. If I walk in and expect a warm cup of coffee and a stale donut the worst that happens is that I get what I expect, no disappointment; the best that happens is that the coffee and donut fresh. Angels sing on high! How exciting.
I apply this to movies which is why The Name of the King, a piece of shit Uwe Boller movie is more entertaining to me than either Children of Men or Cloverfield even though I admit that the latter are better productions. I walk into Uwe Boller movies expecting to see a shitty movie, bordering on the worst movie ever.
How does this apply to the people I know? Well for one, I am stepping away from the role of planner. I am also stepping away from the people as a rule. I am experimenting with reciprocity. There has to be some give and take in a relationship with friends. I am hoping that the energy being used for maintaining these relationships can be diverted into something more productive: like writing, or reading, or....
SAILING! I started sailing lessons shortly after the funk email and have totally fallen in love with it. I haven't been in this much love since... well... since ever.
I am obsessing on the idea of buying a boat and getting certification to start a charter company, then I am hoping to make a living on the water sailing and ferrying boats hither and thither. If I can make a little money here and there selling stories and getting my work published then all the better. But right now, I want nothing more than a little mobility and some space from the people around me. I have an outlet now that fills up as much time as I am willing to invest.
I am out of my funk. Yea! That is pretty monumentally exciting to me.
On the reading front, I am totally stuck on Jose Saramago's The Cave. Between traveling and feeling like shit and the book itself I am just beat. I don't know if I am going to finish and the summer book club fizzled. I got a lot of "Hey that sounds cool" but not a lot of follow through, save Stinky, who is a reading rock-star. I have to make a snap decision now and decide whether I push through, or give up.
The problem that I am having with it is that Saramago has gone away from the standard convention of paragraph marks, and quotation marks and opted for a really conversational story. Whole chapters might be a paragraph and the dialog is told as if someone else is relaying the story. It almost feels like G-d giving a lecture to angels. The narrator has omniscience, because you jump in and out of the POV for the family of characters, even the dog. It works really well but it is exhausting to read.
We will see. Hopefully I will get it finished. Hopefully!
In other news, my fantasy soccer league starts next week and my funk has given me plenty of time to get prepped.
What am I listening to: Aterciopelados's album Caribe Atomico.
Well let's see, I am not feeling so crummy. What did I change? Well for one, I have changed my outlook on what my commitment level to the people around me is. I am an organizer you see. I am the guy that calls people up, makes events and plans and then orchestrates until things get a life of there own. In sailing terms (more on this in a sec) I am the guy that skippers the boat into the wind, tacks around the buoy and then gets the boat headed down wind. I enjoy it. Until the even is over, and everybody goes home. Then I sit and wait for somebody else to come up with something. And I sit, and sit, and sit; until more boredom overwhelms me and I start the whole painful task over again.
I went through a ten or fifteen day period where I was waiting for the phone to ring and it just wasn't happening. That is pretty damn frustrating. So I lowered my expectation/capability gap. Basically my friend Soren has this theory that if you expect more than someone or something is capable of providing then you will be met with disappointment. Seem logical right. If I walk into Dunkin Donuts and expect an Italian cappucino I will be sorely disappointed because Dunkin Donuts just doesn't have that capability. If I walk in and expect a warm cup of coffee and a stale donut the worst that happens is that I get what I expect, no disappointment; the best that happens is that the coffee and donut fresh. Angels sing on high! How exciting.
I apply this to movies which is why The Name of the King, a piece of shit Uwe Boller movie is more entertaining to me than either Children of Men or Cloverfield even though I admit that the latter are better productions. I walk into Uwe Boller movies expecting to see a shitty movie, bordering on the worst movie ever.
How does this apply to the people I know? Well for one, I am stepping away from the role of planner. I am also stepping away from the people as a rule. I am experimenting with reciprocity. There has to be some give and take in a relationship with friends. I am hoping that the energy being used for maintaining these relationships can be diverted into something more productive: like writing, or reading, or....
SAILING! I started sailing lessons shortly after the funk email and have totally fallen in love with it. I haven't been in this much love since... well... since ever.
I am obsessing on the idea of buying a boat and getting certification to start a charter company, then I am hoping to make a living on the water sailing and ferrying boats hither and thither. If I can make a little money here and there selling stories and getting my work published then all the better. But right now, I want nothing more than a little mobility and some space from the people around me. I have an outlet now that fills up as much time as I am willing to invest.
I am out of my funk. Yea! That is pretty monumentally exciting to me.
On the reading front, I am totally stuck on Jose Saramago's The Cave. Between traveling and feeling like shit and the book itself I am just beat. I don't know if I am going to finish and the summer book club fizzled. I got a lot of "Hey that sounds cool" but not a lot of follow through, save Stinky, who is a reading rock-star. I have to make a snap decision now and decide whether I push through, or give up.
The problem that I am having with it is that Saramago has gone away from the standard convention of paragraph marks, and quotation marks and opted for a really conversational story. Whole chapters might be a paragraph and the dialog is told as if someone else is relaying the story. It almost feels like G-d giving a lecture to angels. The narrator has omniscience, because you jump in and out of the POV for the family of characters, even the dog. It works really well but it is exhausting to read.
We will see. Hopefully I will get it finished. Hopefully!
In other news, my fantasy soccer league starts next week and my funk has given me plenty of time to get prepped.
What am I listening to: Aterciopelados's album Caribe Atomico.
Do you keep a journal? It is good to reflect on your writings both while you are in a funk and when you come out of one.
The hardest thing is to remain creative while going through that.
Well, our library closed until sometime next week, I am sure my copy of The Cave is sitting there waiting for me. I finished all of "House on Mango" street in a couple of days. It was short, but man it is a really good read.
I don't think I can complete the Summer Reading Club in summer, but hopefully I can at least read them during the fall
And I'm just realized that I want to help my friends to be SG nothing more