kore

first and foremost:

i needed to do that.

anyway, i did get weed today. check. and i did mail out some zines. check. and then i took the bus to the next town to the mall to handout resumes and.... i brought the wrong resumes. so basically, i suck. i will try again another day.

in other news, i want to smash something. not out of anger so much as out of boredom and a need for sensation. i miss the drunken summer nights under orange streetlights, some various boy in my grasp. it was great.

i miss the girl i was then. and it was so recently. this town is sucking the life out of me. and i keep saying, you know, one year. one year. that's all. i need to get a job and save some money, and in one year i'll be finalllllly finished high school and i'll be gone.

but probably not back to toronto. i don't know where i'll go.

i want to find people who are interested in being genuine. people who would rather say it all wrong but say the truth than say it perfectly when it's bullshit. real, actual and all of that. but i only really seem to find myself there when i'm fuckdrunkstupid and stumbling, and you know, making promises to myself that i probably won't keep in the morning.

blah blah blah bullshit. i need some fucking loud music.