Oh...will Temptess will be ripping me for this, but when someone has done it so well, you must simply concede - I could only hope to be able to express myself as well as Macy Gray and Maynard.
I know I could probably just post the songs and you all have them, but I needed to type out the damn words...It is like an exorcism...the melodic distress of Rice and Beans inspired Pop merged with dark art metal hemorrhaging pretension...what else is on this playlist...where are things going to go today...
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
Do you make soundtracks for your life?
I find myself making playlists for my ever changing mood (swings), and danmit - it helps.
I am at the beach at Manni's bakery, waiting for the EX to stop by for coffee. Mannni's is the closest thing my mother does to sweets...fruit juice sweetened tarts and pastries, but they have sugar for the coffee here.
It is funny, but I have butterflies in my stomach, and I swear, I am NOT EMOed out, but the anticipation of seeing her drives me crazy.
--
OK we met, we talked.
I don't have the experience with these feelings to be able to accurately describe them, but the general situation is this...
I am filled with joy to see her.
I am saddened by the fact that she is not happy.
I am conflicted because I am still in love, but we will never be together - I still have my best friend, and one of the most important people in my life as part of my life, and can not be thankful enough for that.
I want to do something for her but it is not my place.
All of that said, I feel surprisingly comfortable in my skin with her, and I never thought that would be the case.
So the songs I have been milling seem really inappropriate now, but I already spent the time typing the damn things in, so I am leaving them.
Just disassociate them from anything after the first paragraph, and we will be fine.
--
I Try by Macy Gray (well part of it...)
"Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here..."
--
Yeah...yeah. Fuck you the song haunts me.
--
Forty Six and Two byTool
"My shadow's
Shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in
My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.
I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within
My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.
I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.
I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.
See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me."
Look, that's it for now, I need to get some shit done, but I appreciate your indulging me the time. If you can read the private posts, please do...
I am OK, but sometimes, I feel like I am not. But I am OK.
I know I could probably just post the songs and you all have them, but I needed to type out the damn words...It is like an exorcism...the melodic distress of Rice and Beans inspired Pop merged with dark art metal hemorrhaging pretension...what else is on this playlist...where are things going to go today...
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
I NEED a copy of A Million Little Pieces yesterday.
Do you make soundtracks for your life?
I find myself making playlists for my ever changing mood (swings), and danmit - it helps.
I am at the beach at Manni's bakery, waiting for the EX to stop by for coffee. Mannni's is the closest thing my mother does to sweets...fruit juice sweetened tarts and pastries, but they have sugar for the coffee here.
It is funny, but I have butterflies in my stomach, and I swear, I am NOT EMOed out, but the anticipation of seeing her drives me crazy.
--
OK we met, we talked.
I don't have the experience with these feelings to be able to accurately describe them, but the general situation is this...
I am filled with joy to see her.
I am saddened by the fact that she is not happy.
I am conflicted because I am still in love, but we will never be together - I still have my best friend, and one of the most important people in my life as part of my life, and can not be thankful enough for that.
I want to do something for her but it is not my place.
All of that said, I feel surprisingly comfortable in my skin with her, and I never thought that would be the case.
So the songs I have been milling seem really inappropriate now, but I already spent the time typing the damn things in, so I am leaving them.
Just disassociate them from anything after the first paragraph, and we will be fine.
--
I Try by Macy Gray (well part of it...)
"Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll try to keep my cool, but I'm feenin'
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not here..."
--
Yeah...yeah. Fuck you the song haunts me.
--
Forty Six and Two byTool
"My shadow's
Shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in
My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.
I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.
I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within
My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.
I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.
I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.
See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me."
Look, that's it for now, I need to get some shit done, but I appreciate your indulging me the time. If you can read the private posts, please do...
I am OK, but sometimes, I feel like I am not. But I am OK.
temptess:
Now you're making me cry...