Three nights in a row I have had the most vivid dreams about her, the kind of dream that you really aren't sure if you are dreaming, and you can taste, touch, feel, smell... When I woke up this morning, my heart was racing, and I was completely panicked. I feel really creeped out.
I was in a hotel room somewhere in Ohio or Pennsylvania, a nice version of the hotel you stop at in the middle of the night because you are too tired to drive anymore but it looks like the interior of La Rev (A special place for us). She is laying on the bed, sprawled across the king sized mattress, dead. I am in an adjacent room, like a dressing room or something with a huge mirror and an uncomfortable little chair, looking at the train wreck in the next room, and feeling completely overwhelmed. As fucked up as this is, I want to go and lay down with this dead body, hold her for one last time before I have to say goodbye forever - so I do. Her body is warm, and I can feel her breath on my cheek, ever so faintly. Suddenly she gets up and goes to the dressing table and starts to put on her eyelashes and makeup. One of my guilty pleasures used to be watching this girl while she did her makeup rituals. We really didn't go out too often, but when we did, she took the time to look really special and I would watch her place each eyelash, pout add her little signature diamonds, line her lips - dust everything with honey powder...but I digress (and how far I can digress)...she is doing this makeup thing and keeps glancing at me, I am sitting, stunned on the bed, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. A bunch of things don't make sense at this point, but..it is a dream. She explains that the dead body was a trick for the insurance company, and that she was going to...
Well they are those kind of dreams, you know. Things make sense, and then nothing makes any sense. Tuesday she was kissing me - lips so close, almost touching and she disappeared...
I am going to have to leave this alone for now - it is all too confusing.
I'll try and write it all out late at night when I can't sleep.
I am going to try and hook up with some of the SG people tonight, perhaps meet some new people, and see some old friends...
I was in a hotel room somewhere in Ohio or Pennsylvania, a nice version of the hotel you stop at in the middle of the night because you are too tired to drive anymore but it looks like the interior of La Rev (A special place for us). She is laying on the bed, sprawled across the king sized mattress, dead. I am in an adjacent room, like a dressing room or something with a huge mirror and an uncomfortable little chair, looking at the train wreck in the next room, and feeling completely overwhelmed. As fucked up as this is, I want to go and lay down with this dead body, hold her for one last time before I have to say goodbye forever - so I do. Her body is warm, and I can feel her breath on my cheek, ever so faintly. Suddenly she gets up and goes to the dressing table and starts to put on her eyelashes and makeup. One of my guilty pleasures used to be watching this girl while she did her makeup rituals. We really didn't go out too often, but when we did, she took the time to look really special and I would watch her place each eyelash, pout add her little signature diamonds, line her lips - dust everything with honey powder...but I digress (and how far I can digress)...she is doing this makeup thing and keeps glancing at me, I am sitting, stunned on the bed, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. A bunch of things don't make sense at this point, but..it is a dream. She explains that the dead body was a trick for the insurance company, and that she was going to...
Well they are those kind of dreams, you know. Things make sense, and then nothing makes any sense. Tuesday she was kissing me - lips so close, almost touching and she disappeared...
I am going to have to leave this alone for now - it is all too confusing.
I'll try and write it all out late at night when I can't sleep.
I am going to try and hook up with some of the SG people tonight, perhaps meet some new people, and see some old friends...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
elisabeth:
Hey there....did you know that jonas is also a member of the site? 
piningshaft:
back to san francisco in june, but i may leave again very quickly. maybe to southeast asia.