Hello there!
It's Mental Health Awareness Month, and it's super important for me to educate others about mental illlness as much as I can.
7 years ago, I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was only 15 years old but this doctor INSISTED that I would have it. Every other psychologist and doctor believed her, so I had this label on me for... yeah. 7 years.
No matter what I did, no matter how many hospitals I've visited... nothing seemed to help. Self harm became more and more severe. It got life threatening many times, I didn't understand why nobody could help me and I was told that I'd be a lost cause.
Almost exactly one year ago, 11th June 2019, I almost died from self harm. It was the worst I'Äve ever gotten and my therapist and doctor said that something HAS to happen now, or else I'll die.
I NEVER WANTED TO DIE. I didn't know why I self harmed. In fact, I couldn't even remember any of it. But nobody on the psych ward believed me. Nobody.
My therapist had the guess, that I might suffer from severe trauma, but I really didn't believe that. I told her, that my childhood was beautiful.
She sent me to a trauma clinic, far away from my home, I went there in July, which was really fast for a private clinic. Normally you have to wait for over a year to go there.
They opened my eyes. I was abused most of my childhood and I just forgot about it. I felt lost.
They then told me, that I NEVER had Borderline Personality Disorder in the first place, doctors just like to throw that diagnosis on people who self harm all the time, without reallly taking a closer look.
I have Complex Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. And I have Dissociative Identity Disorder.
It was so hard to believe all of this. But it now makes sense to me. I stilll have to work so hard and fight to get healthy, but now I know that I CAN be heallthy one day. It's possible. It gives me hope.
None of these illnesses are rare or scary, they are real and they are excrutiating, they are hiding for years, but you can overcome them.
Never forget that any person you're dealling with might go through things like this. They might have demons sleeping inside them and they don't even know it yet.
Always be kind. Always have an open heart to anyone you'll meet. You won't regret it, it might help someone one day.
Stay strong and have a great day.
Konekoya x
