Its 2am.. its too hot to sleep.. its so hot here... and im in england... hot in england?? whatever next....
Anyway youve probably noticed by now the later it is the more i tend to think and rant...so here it is.....
I Have no idea what to do about college it seems a good idea to go back but yet I dont want to be broke as nor does anyone else in the matter... I hate it ive became such a recluse in the last year. part of it because of being broke or from being ill but mainly because id rather be at home working on songs or just playing the comp.. im a console nerd you see. id happily stay at home and play MGS or Halo whilst you all do your thing..
I cant decide whether my mood has been anywhat better since been at college the whole being depressed and everything havnt helped. and not being able to drink havnt really gave me much reason to go out. yea i know you dont need a drink to enjoy myself but it seems that if im out and my mates are pissed they always end up going home early, and as im sober and can dance and walk still i wanna stay till they end... but enough of that...
Then dont get me started about living arrangements im not goin to lie...
ENGLAND SUCKS the only people who appreciate it are tourists who live in an area with loads of sun and nice weather n nice area... only those kind of people could appreciate the shite weather and scummy cities and people which reside in the one and only ENGLAND dont get me wrong there must be some nice places here, but i am still to discover such wonders...
I want to move to america or where ever I just need to get the hell out of Leicester my ex lives here and i still manage to bump into him and I cant even stress how much it feel as though its killing me.. even writing this i feel so lousy....I miss him so much well i dont actually miss him i miss the relationship.. i miss feeling loved and wanted rather than walking this earth feeling alone and a piece of shite, yes im ranting about how lonely i am but it seems nobody wants me.. and the people who do want me just dont have a personality.or obsessive. It seems I have guys after me which my girlfriends are envious of but i dont see why.. they are guys who are so in love with themselves and seem to think just because they are good looking there is no need to have a personality... wat a load of shit...
I can honestly say id be withsome who looks like theyve been hit in the face by a lorry who has a personality..
And dont get me started on the guys who seem content with their lives who have no drive or nor goals.. just working in a shite job which they hate but wont change because they are stuck in a rut of bing pampered by their mothers
I just want to be loved like everyone else i guess. im sick of just being treated like crap n then feeling like crap also..
Then the guys who i seem to like the most are just too far away.. man i feel like a div sat here talking to the screen because i can never bring myself to telling my friends how i feel because i dont want to be a burden on them. I can honesly say that ive never felt so fricken lonely knowing that my ex has someone and that I dont ..Yes i am a loser... yes i am moaning... get over it, cuz im not goin to yet... not until i finish moanin... I want love
Anyway on a lighter note.. hmmm there isnt one i guess...
Marc Blackie
Its funny how i have the biggest crush on someone i have barely engaged in conversation with.. And without contradicting myself... he is the hottest guy on earth!!!
JONNY_TROUBLE If only I lived closer...I will marry him one day lol whether he agrees to it or not
But anyway i must go because there is a daddylong legs and its creeping me out
Anyway youve probably noticed by now the later it is the more i tend to think and rant...so here it is.....
I Have no idea what to do about college it seems a good idea to go back but yet I dont want to be broke as nor does anyone else in the matter... I hate it ive became such a recluse in the last year. part of it because of being broke or from being ill but mainly because id rather be at home working on songs or just playing the comp.. im a console nerd you see. id happily stay at home and play MGS or Halo whilst you all do your thing..
I cant decide whether my mood has been anywhat better since been at college the whole being depressed and everything havnt helped. and not being able to drink havnt really gave me much reason to go out. yea i know you dont need a drink to enjoy myself but it seems that if im out and my mates are pissed they always end up going home early, and as im sober and can dance and walk still i wanna stay till they end... but enough of that...
Then dont get me started about living arrangements im not goin to lie...
ENGLAND SUCKS the only people who appreciate it are tourists who live in an area with loads of sun and nice weather n nice area... only those kind of people could appreciate the shite weather and scummy cities and people which reside in the one and only ENGLAND dont get me wrong there must be some nice places here, but i am still to discover such wonders...
I want to move to america or where ever I just need to get the hell out of Leicester my ex lives here and i still manage to bump into him and I cant even stress how much it feel as though its killing me.. even writing this i feel so lousy....I miss him so much well i dont actually miss him i miss the relationship.. i miss feeling loved and wanted rather than walking this earth feeling alone and a piece of shite, yes im ranting about how lonely i am but it seems nobody wants me.. and the people who do want me just dont have a personality.or obsessive. It seems I have guys after me which my girlfriends are envious of but i dont see why.. they are guys who are so in love with themselves and seem to think just because they are good looking there is no need to have a personality... wat a load of shit...
I can honestly say id be withsome who looks like theyve been hit in the face by a lorry who has a personality..
And dont get me started on the guys who seem content with their lives who have no drive or nor goals.. just working in a shite job which they hate but wont change because they are stuck in a rut of bing pampered by their mothers
I just want to be loved like everyone else i guess. im sick of just being treated like crap n then feeling like crap also..
Then the guys who i seem to like the most are just too far away.. man i feel like a div sat here talking to the screen because i can never bring myself to telling my friends how i feel because i dont want to be a burden on them. I can honesly say that ive never felt so fricken lonely knowing that my ex has someone and that I dont ..Yes i am a loser... yes i am moaning... get over it, cuz im not goin to yet... not until i finish moanin... I want love
Anyway on a lighter note.. hmmm there isnt one i guess...
Marc Blackie
Its funny how i have the biggest crush on someone i have barely engaged in conversation with.. And without contradicting myself... he is the hottest guy on earth!!!
JONNY_TROUBLE If only I lived closer...I will marry him one day lol whether he agrees to it or not
But anyway i must go because there is a daddylong legs and its creeping me out
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
Tommy: Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?
"Rent-boy": It's SHITE being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched miserable servile pathetic trash that was ever shat on civilization. Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to get colonized by. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!