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kolic

Member Since 2004

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Sunday Sep 05, 2004

Sep 5, 2004
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I've come to a conclusion lately, as my tolerance for people's bullshit has about come to the breaking point, that has me thinking...
I've complained about feeling like I am a ghost, mainly because I feel like I have no purpose, no drive...I feel like I walk just slightly askew from those around me and when I walk in a crowd, no one seems to even notice I exist. Now, supposedly, ghosts only linger because they have "unfinished business" or an attachment to a given area, if you can rectify this, the ghost can leave.
I, appropriately enough, have no unifinished business here or a worthwhile attachment to anything. The question that burns in my mind of course is, "Why don't I move on?" There are obvious problems with the idea, moving to a place where I don't know anyone and where I wouldn't have a job or a place to live. But beyond that, I can't see any reason why I shouldn't leave this place when all it does is make me feel miserable. It's a shame I didn't feel this way earlier this year, then I could have tried applying to college in another state. That would provide me with a place to stay and a chance for socialization. I may still try enrolling for the winter semester somewhere (Which of course begs the ultimate question: Where do I want to go?)
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
lacylou666:
keep updating on how your feeling... if you ever need an opinion or someone to talk to... don't hesitate to reach out to me... if you want to ...
Sep 8, 2004
non_sequitur:

Well I had the advantage of moving away to college at 18, from England to Scotland, which is another country even if it's only 4hrs drive.

I lived in Scotland 4yrs then down to London, where I've been since except for a year and a half in San Francisco, which rocked.

I don't thing moving about has done me any harm at all; to me it proved that

1) you can do it, and it's not that hard to do, and it's a breath of fresh air. There are some friends you'll always keep in touch with, the others are replaceable smile

but

2) a change of scenery can clarify things, but wherever you go you take you with you, so if you expect it to solve all your problems you're going to be disappointed.

Also I found moving to study _much_ easier than moving later in life - for study, everyone's in the same boat and socialising is easy. Later, it takes effort....urgh...I hate effort...

wink

Sep 8, 2004

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