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kolic

Member Since 2004

Followers 44 Following 37

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Wednesday Nov 25, 2009

Nov 24, 2009
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I'm not feeling well. I'm the kind of sick where I can't sleep and I'm not sure if I feel like it and the part that annoys me is that I don't feel that bad physically. I've been sicker. Migraines, stomach problems, aches, slight fever. Didn't go to work today. What gets me is that it's happening at the same time that I'm going through a bad time mentally, something that seems to be happening more often. I don't like the idea of leaving my apartment. I can't say why. It just feels me with a sense of dread, sometimes it borders on panic. I don't know what to say about that and I'm afraid that I'll be judged as someone who's seriously troubled. I ordered pizza, just so I could get a 2 liter of Coke to drink. I've barely touched the food, but that's mainly because of how I feel. I want to eat, but when I start eating, I get full quick and my stomach hurts afterwards. The agoraphobia, which is what I have to call it, has happened before over the past 2 years and seems to be happening more often. If I disappear without blogging for awhile, I'm typically going through a phase like this where I don't want to talk.
But right now I want to talk, but I don't have any friends available, so I'm talking here.

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