So...yeah...26th birthday. No plans, but my ex-gf/friend took me out for food...we got back and she wanted a back massage. Um...so..while the sex got interupted by a near asthma attack on her part, she did end up giving me one of the best handjobs ever. And is now one of...I think 3 people to manage to get me off that way. So...Happy fucking birthday to me. 
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So you'll take the abuse to the back but not the ass is that what you're saying?