Do you know what asses are, Patrick?
Asses are the human races' favorite thing.
We like them on each other. We like them on magazine covers. We even like them on babies. When we're alone we scratch them. When there's a fire we like to warm them. And who among us, in a lonely moment, hasn't reached back for a discreet fondle?
We love our asses. When god gave us our asses he had to stick them round the back just so we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. 'Cause when god made the ass he didn't just say "Hey it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early!" He said "Behold ye angels, I have created The Ass! Throughout the ages to come. men and women will grab hold of these and shout my name!"
It's funnier when delivered by an Englishman.
