I've become afraid of old people....I don't know why. I think it has to do with not having the chance to know my grandparents except for one time when I met my dad's 95 year old mother over 10 years ago back in Korea. I didn't even talk to her either...I just watched her cry over someone who was the child of her child whom she has not seen for ages. At that time, my father stayed home because he had to work...so he couldn't see her until she passed away years later.
so now, when I look at old people...I cringe. I think to myself, "pretty soon, you are going to be in that old guys position where your body won't listen to you, where taking showers will be repulsive, and you don't want a single mirror in your room at all.
I guess these sentiments have a lot to do with each other...because I never really had an elderly in my life and I never learned to cope with the lose of one whom I've grown emotionally attached to. I never really understood how old movie stars can throw away the love of their life for some young flesh...but now I do. I assume that they are so repulsed by their own aging that they need something to forget that they are stepping closer to death with images of themselve to remind them. of course, that's not to say I agree with them....I just understand them more through in pity.
so now, I'm stuck with community service. At the time of getting my assignment, it was either cleaning up after a bunch of war veterens or doing creative stuff at a care center. I choosed the creative thing but little did I know that "care center" meant an old people's home. Now I'm stuck taking care of old people who "meow" because they can't speak anything else and sleep with tubes in their noses as a tv lays planted by their feet. Like a cubicle, their rooms are personalized with decoration and everyone gets pushed in a wheel chair.
how ironic that I'd find myself in a place I dread..but I guess it could be a learning experience...a life learning experience and maybe it'll change my outlook. I still have my parents to deal with...and who knows how badly I'll break down when they leave me.....
....I've been trying to plan how I'll live my days of being old.....and right now it consists of being buzzed on brandy EVERY day, smoking of cigars, and playing GO with the remaining bran cells I have left from the days of being into those "after hours."
GO is such a hard game....
.....but i want to atleast be able to be a challenge even though I'll lose many times. 
so now, when I look at old people...I cringe. I think to myself, "pretty soon, you are going to be in that old guys position where your body won't listen to you, where taking showers will be repulsive, and you don't want a single mirror in your room at all.
I guess these sentiments have a lot to do with each other...because I never really had an elderly in my life and I never learned to cope with the lose of one whom I've grown emotionally attached to. I never really understood how old movie stars can throw away the love of their life for some young flesh...but now I do. I assume that they are so repulsed by their own aging that they need something to forget that they are stepping closer to death with images of themselve to remind them. of course, that's not to say I agree with them....I just understand them more through in pity.
so now, I'm stuck with community service. At the time of getting my assignment, it was either cleaning up after a bunch of war veterens or doing creative stuff at a care center. I choosed the creative thing but little did I know that "care center" meant an old people's home. Now I'm stuck taking care of old people who "meow" because they can't speak anything else and sleep with tubes in their noses as a tv lays planted by their feet. Like a cubicle, their rooms are personalized with decoration and everyone gets pushed in a wheel chair.
how ironic that I'd find myself in a place I dread..but I guess it could be a learning experience...a life learning experience and maybe it'll change my outlook. I still have my parents to deal with...and who knows how badly I'll break down when they leave me.....
....I've been trying to plan how I'll live my days of being old.....and right now it consists of being buzzed on brandy EVERY day, smoking of cigars, and playing GO with the remaining bran cells I have left from the days of being into those "after hours."
GO is such a hard game....
.....but i want to atleast be able to be a challenge even though I'll lose many times. VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
plannine:
I meant if ya'll get to start one.
filmnoir1:
Will thin white boys with glasses and some talent be able to join? 