kobeyk

DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOG, IN NO WAY, IS MEANT TO OFFEND OR TAKE AWAY FROM THE FACT THAT THE ONES THAT HAVE TAKEN ME IN HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I THANK YOU (you know who you are) FOR EXTENDING YOURSELVES AND ALLOWING ME TO STAY IN YOUR HOMES. I LOVE YOU BOTH

So I came to L.A. to visit with my friends...some I had met in Philly, but most I had never met before. We partied...hard. It was amazing amounts of fun and I wouldn't take any of it back in a million years. The original plan was to be here for 3 weeks, then visit Sillyk and Elr0d in Ft. Lauderdale for a couple weeks, and then move in with Philia and be her roommate in VA. Shit happened and things weren't as stable for my dear Phils, so I didn't feel as though it was the right move for me. Luckily I have amazing friends, and they asked me to stay here in L.A. After about a week of thinking about it, I decided that this was my best move. So, here I am, bouncing around between my two good friends' places, trying to find a job, then an apartment, without being too much of a burden on either friend. They have both been wonderful about letting me stay, but things are changing and I really do need to move on so that they can both go back to a "normal" living situation...whatever that may be for them. So, I'm looking around for jobs now and, honestly, having decent luck with people calling me back and whatnot so far. I feel like I'm just babbling right now so I'm just going to list shit that's stressing me the FUCK out currently.

-I'm running out of money
-I don't have transportation so my employment options are limited
-I'm not in a comfortable living situation (even though I'm welcome where I'm staying, I still won't be comfy until I have my own place)
-My love life showed signs of possible improvement and then took a sudden nosedive and blew into a million pieces
-I don't feel comfortable, again, dressing how i want to dress
-I feel like I'm losing a little bit of myself every day
-I'm getting depressed again and don't have a clue how to stop it even though I feel it coming on.
-I feel really alone

I may take a break from the internet for a while until I can get my head on straight...Not sure yet