knikkknakk

Did you ever feel used up...empty? Tonight at work I was stressing and freaking out and my head was reeling....then all of the sudden it happened. A brick wall of tears. I felt used up....like a tube of tooth paste when its the day before payday....squeezed....dry....empty.

I still feel used up....pulled in 1 million different directions. Taffy on the boardwalk. My head never stops...never. I feel lost....and sad. I wish I could curl up into a little ball and sleep forever. I'd like to smile. I'd like to smile..........I want just once to give up.....relinquish control to someone else and let them take care of me.....I want to fall asleep with him holding me.....so that I know I will never hurt.....never bleed. Not while I'm being held......not while he is looking after me.....then I would sleep, and dream. Sleep to dream. Dream of him.....I always do.