knifemonkey

am i crazy? or am i finally sane? recent events have caused some confusion in my understanding of my own sanity...

the other night i did something. now... whether or not i'll regret it is all up teh time. the decision teh do what was done required a long and arduous journey both into myself and my past. this decision... has caused me a great amount depression and solitude. my only hope is that all this pain is temporary... and that it won't haunt me in the days to come.

however, i feel a gentle calm washing over me. a sense of... being complete. why now and not before? the decision has given me the ability to let go on my own terms, and not just having me tossed aside like vegetables on the plate of an 5-year-old. this calm does not dull the emotional strife my soul is currently undergoing, unfortunately; however, it is rather soothing, much like a warm hug from a friend; the pain isn't gone, but the moment makes it bearable.

now, my non-existent readers, the question in all of your heads is probably 'what on earth was this decision?" to that... i have no answer. all of this was merely to vent my frustrations, sadness, and grief through this wonderfully intricate language of ours. plus, i'm low on gas so i can't drive aimlessly into the night. like i usually do, teh calm myself.

i bid you all a dieu.



rock hard. live harder. o_O