knawmean

I talked myself out of going to a Halloween party tonight. I told myself I 'd be scared with all those people I didn't know hanging around. What the hell is wrong with me. I feel so helpless around other people I can't function properly.

She was going to be there, too. The one I met at school. The one who may be perfect. I shouldn't say that, because it make her seem unreachable. She's the one who invited me to the party and is quite possibly the one I was most affraid of.

I wonder if she has any clue that I want to be so much more than friends with her. It doesn't matter anyway. We're both seeing other people somewhat seriously. That's a whole other issue.

I've been unhappy for the last three years almost to the day. I can't find the courage to do anything about it. I guess maybe I've been waiting for someone to come along who is capable of giving me the love I need. I feel so alone. Someone help me.