I have been thinking a lot about sex lately, being newly, completely single. I was thinking about what I want, what I need in my next. I want to feel her desire me, as I desire her. I want to look forward to talking to her. I want to notice myself smiling when I think about her.

I don't have any fetishes, really. Going beyond...
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pressure

I feel most like myself under pressure.
Ever since I was a child, I have found myself in extreme situations. These are situations where life, liberty and sanity are a hairsbreadth from violation and any clear path must be walked with surety of purpose, absence of hesitation and clarity of vision. Yet, as I got older and stronger, I found myself drifting towards a...
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fighting

some random ramblings...

As my high school vice principal could provide ample evidence for, I have always been a fighter. In our society, it seems that the natural progression is from rebellious teen to wild undergrad to frantic early adulthood to a calm content maturity that breaks suddenly to midlife crisis, then a gradual acceptance and fade away to sleepy death. As I sit,...
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the path

Ever since I was young, I've been a bit different than other people. As I grew up, I observed that many people were really caught up in the idea of good and evil or right and wrong or however you'd like to characterize the dichotomy. Often, those beliefs of right and wrong were based on their understanding of the tenets of some religion,...
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in search of beauty

In a lot of ways, the search for beauty has been at the heart of my life. I have touched physical beauty through the body, felt its warmth in my heart and looked on the cool, clean angles of the intellectual. There are many flavors of beauty, from the creation of something new to the destruction of the old to simple,...
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The Past

So, it seems like a wise idea to have these things visible to my friends only if I'm going to be totally honest.

I could be paranoid, or maybe I just smoked too much...

anyway, I suppose it's good to start any story from the beginning.

I was born in 1980, on Halloween at 3:07 pm. I had an unpleasant childhood, for the...
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close encounter

It's Thursday night and I just walked back into my apartment, a pleasant sweat on my forehead and a familiar pounding in my feet. I work in the city and having had a fairly rural upbringing, I occasionally get tired of grey concrete walls and cold glass windows. I want to feel the ground under my bare feet and see the trees towering...
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I went out to this little art festival they had on court street downtown today. I guess I got there well in advance of the big show, as there was not much there other than people setting up. As I'm walking back to my car at race and central parkway, I see this guy - about 45, african american, a little scruffy - who looks...
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Ah hell... I am never going to get a good picture taken by myself.

I don't think anyone is much reading this, but what the fuck - here's what's on my mind.

So, I've got a tattoo of a small circle on my left wrist. The idea at the time was to symbolize mushin or beginner's mind. However, on further reflection I think I'd like...
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