i have come to realize tonight that i because i am male, i am not allowed to do certain things. i also have realized that my personality is immature and not cool enough for sg. i am lame, i like sex, which i am not supposed to say, because i am an ugly male. if however i was an attractive girl it would be more 'cute' fuck this i am goin to bed. why do i let strangers and ppls behavior piss me off?

fuck sleep. i really want to vent a lot of my thoughts but then ppl will think worse of me. but fuck, it isnt like i am married to anyone here. ok here is the vent time
ok i am pretty pissed off. i have always had low self esteem, a complete feeling of unworthiness. people always tell me to be confident, yeah right, when you have heard the things i have it is more difficult not to become a hermit, ok maybe i am nuts, i mean i get offened over the internet, i should just be able to say fuck it and be mean to those that are mean to me. i can totally tell what ppl are saying by the way the say things and what they say, fuck i hate being rejected by ppl i am not even interested in. oh you dont want me? as if i even wanted you, i think secretly most ppl want to be worshipped by someone they want. fuck i cant even put my thoughts in order now. i am babblin and rambling on
bottom line, if you dont have it you never will so why bother trying?

i know that many ppl will never understand this because they have never ever been in the situation, i hope that no one feels this way ever.