Friday Dec 05, 2003

0
hey there sg'ers

feelin kinda wasted, i had a major case of insomnia last night so i didn't get much sleep.it's weird being sleep deprived , reality feels all fake and dreamlike kinda like being in the matrix. anyways not much planned for the weekend, i'll probably go check out the last samurai tomorrow, other than that most of my time will probably be spent humping the couch. wink
gotta go now that gaylord agent smith needs a good ass whuppin.


Klonopin ARRR!!! Chugger now featuring Tartar Protection
lil_billy_ben:
That was a fucked up journey, bro.
Truely bad times

BillyEL SUICIDO LOCOBen

[Edited on Dec 06, 2003 11:50PM]
lil_billy_ben:
Subtle messages my ass. Yes I was pissed last night, I was rude and invasive. I made assumptions as to motives I couldn't possably know. I'll admit to myself, you, God and ayone else that I wasn't totaly inocent in the matter. Like most others I'm in constant search of peace of mind. When I got out of bed this morning I try to just leave yesterday as yesterday.


I wrote that entery yesterday besides it takes some degree of vanity to assume it's in referince to you. You'll never know till ya ask. As for the "sick" I can't spend the rest of my life hating people when somthing bad happens. Until I have time to pray and prosses things labling the people I percieve as the perpatraiters as sick is preferable to hating. I don't even want to spend a week hating somone, it's pointless and energy consuming and it doesn't feel peaceful. Do you hate everyone who wrongs you? What do you do in such situations?

I took a moral invintory this morning, gave my resentmints to God and ask for guidence in such future situations. Resentments could be the end of me, my relations, or whatever peace of mind I have. I don't like being angry, I can't imagine anyone does. I also have a bad habbit of making assumptions, I'm working on that too.

If this all sounds like whining or hippie bullshit to you feel free to delete it. I'm just speaking from the heart.

I guess I'm realy trying to say two things.
1) I'm sorry for my assumptions, resentments, disrespecting your girl, and trying to pick your lock.
2)will you marry me? biggrin

I fuckin hate sounding like one of thoes NA fucks or a hippiemad



wetting my pants and playin' it off like I can't help it scince 1984

look, today my luchadore is a hippy
Billy/EL SUICIDO LOCO\Ben



[Edited on Dec 07, 2003 2:04PM]

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