kloiterra

if this is as real
on that side of the fence
and everything is as true
over there as it is over here
and i can figure out how
to put these parts together,
i have a feeling this machine
might run forever,
streaking to the horizon
with two shiteating grins
all the way to the eternal tomorrow.

6,8,2,0,0,6; 22

because of what you have learned,
sometimes when yr not thinking about it
or trying so hard
you realize that yr walking the right path
and the mountain you were climbing
has become the pebbles beneath yr feet.
you know it's good
when you find yrself constantly looking forward
to what's coming next.
anticipation, not dread nor fear,
and you don't want to...
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absolutely sick to death of this.
i thought that i'd had it with this profession--
ended up having me.
woke up at 3am and heard a voice say:
"I don't want to flip any more god-damn burgers."
woke up just in time to hear myself talking in my sleep.
...all that training...
time to do something new--something i haven't done, and it seems i've narrowed...
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just as a car emits exhaust
just as a flame emits heat and smoke and light
when love takes a shit,
love's shit is pain.
sometimes walking down the street
or looking into eyes
or saying hello
you end up with some on yr hands,
on yr shoe, on yr face, in yr soul,
and with a hug, you smear it on the ones you...
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new tires keeps me away from her.
i've waited
long enough to find out i shouldn't have waited;
you hold something in yr hand
thinking you know what it is
until you open yr hand
and find its something completely different
than what it was when you closed yr hand;
you have a gift
that you made for someone
and yr saving it for the...
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so i slept for four hours.
and then i worked for four hours.
and then i came home and showered,
grabbed a few essential items
and my fedora
and hit the road to denver.
8 hours and one time zone change later
i was at the Oriental Theater two hours early.
Dawn and Nils were touched at my effort to see them;
like old friends...
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stagefright is the fear of being unprepared.

last weekend was crazy and fun and cathartic.
amber and jackie arrived from chicago a day late with no idea what state i was in at that point but they jumped right into my frantic whirlwind of stress and helped me finish the album.
amber's work on the cover saved the day when my original cover design/plan fell...
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Been insane.
between cramming to finish my album
and then complete the project
and preparing/rehearsing for my show
and working full/over time
the last four weeks or maybe longer - i don't even know, its all been a blur, have been busy to say the least.
I planned on sending away the album to have it professionally remastered, printed, duplicated and packaged, but thats just...
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good advice, often
easier said than done
some closures are only reached through ritual:
i took her pictures out of my wallet
and off of the refrigerator
and into the trashcan
and over the last few days i watched her disappear
beneath other things been released--
the used and empty, spoiled and broken
pieces of what were good in their moment.
it's not dead, but...
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seor Rafa es muerto.
the man that taught me how to touch the conga drums died two days ago. he was 73. not bad for a cuban refugee.
i went to lawrence last night and saw a girl that i hadn't seen in 3 years. last time i saw her i had a huge crush on her and i told her, and was for the...
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