kloiterra

anyone ever been in/completed a chef's apprenticeship?
this is the second time INDUSTRY has sucked the passion and beauty out of art in my life.
i love to cook, i hate the industry
i love to make music, i hate the industry
one of the sous chefs where i work said to another apprentice "i don't go out - that's not my job". some folks live to work and thats just not my way. i'd be a phony. a sellout if i ended up like that. makes me sick. i still have lots of living to do. all these people are doing is dying.
so what the hell am i doing? i'm almost 30 and i signed up to be told when i can smoke a cigarette, when i can go to the john, when i can use the phone. fuck that. on my day off, i drag myself to school for classes on how to play the game. fuck that.
i want freedom. i want to pursue happiness. isn't that my right?
bitch bitch bitch...i know. six more months. i'll do this till august, then i'll be off paper, out from under the thumb of the law and i'll do something to make myself less miserable. i'll quit if i still hate it. i'll move to canada when i win the lottery. whatever.
ok. i'm done.
for now.