what do you say to a dead man?
went with my mother to the same hospital i was in five years ago to visit my step-cousin Kerry.
the waiting room: aunt mildred, her not-so-bright sister roberta, kerry's father elvis (al) and his wife helen.
lots of talk about "the lord" and miracles.
i don't believe in miracles. i mean, if one thing is a miracle, then isn't everything a miracle? baloney.
they tell me i'm a miracle. no, i just beat the odds and expectations.
then we finally went in to see him. my mother and i walked into the room with kerry and al.
it's very uncomfortable being in a room with a man and his son who has no brain activity.
kerry's in a coma. respirator. stomach tube. bloated. the edema made his hands all puffy and shiny.
thing is, they didn't know what was wrong with him when he went in for elbow pain two months ago.
tennis elbow became bone cancer became leukemia became lung cancer became brain cancer.
the chemo killed him.
al opened kerry's lids "wake up and say hi"
his pupils didn't move.
last friday they took an EEG. flat.
what really is the difference between brain dead and plain dead?
dead is a vacated body on the side of the road.
brain dead is a slab of meat with tubes leading to machines. thats not life.
tomorrow morning they'll do another EEG and read it on the spot.
then they'll unplug the machine.
al said that kerry had cried the other day.
on the way home, my mother told me that just prior to my father's passing, she "just had a feeling" that she should stop praying for recovery and say goodbye. at this point, my father was in pretty much the same state as kerry. she said she went into my father's room and said her goodbyes, perhaps not verbally, but my father cried as well.
that was on easter in 1987.
it was on easter 2002 that my father visited me in the hospital and told me it wasn't my time.
what do you say to a dead man?
went with my mother to the same hospital i was in five years ago to visit my step-cousin Kerry.
the waiting room: aunt mildred, her not-so-bright sister roberta, kerry's father elvis (al) and his wife helen.
lots of talk about "the lord" and miracles.
i don't believe in miracles. i mean, if one thing is a miracle, then isn't everything a miracle? baloney.
they tell me i'm a miracle. no, i just beat the odds and expectations.
then we finally went in to see him. my mother and i walked into the room with kerry and al.
it's very uncomfortable being in a room with a man and his son who has no brain activity.
kerry's in a coma. respirator. stomach tube. bloated. the edema made his hands all puffy and shiny.
thing is, they didn't know what was wrong with him when he went in for elbow pain two months ago.
tennis elbow became bone cancer became leukemia became lung cancer became brain cancer.
the chemo killed him.
al opened kerry's lids "wake up and say hi"
his pupils didn't move.
last friday they took an EEG. flat.
what really is the difference between brain dead and plain dead?
dead is a vacated body on the side of the road.
brain dead is a slab of meat with tubes leading to machines. thats not life.
tomorrow morning they'll do another EEG and read it on the spot.
then they'll unplug the machine.
al said that kerry had cried the other day.
on the way home, my mother told me that just prior to my father's passing, she "just had a feeling" that she should stop praying for recovery and say goodbye. at this point, my father was in pretty much the same state as kerry. she said she went into my father's room and said her goodbyes, perhaps not verbally, but my father cried as well.
that was on easter in 1987.
it was on easter 2002 that my father visited me in the hospital and told me it wasn't my time.
what do you say to a dead man?
to finish the story, the plug was pulled, the tubes removed at 5pm yesterday.
at 8:30, perhaps they all believed in miracles a little less.