kloiterra

it occurred to me today as i was walking on the campus that i'm not sure if any of this really means anything to me at all. everyone i see is as phony as my job, all just funneling through life like cattle going to slaughter...sheeple.
am i the only cow that's aware of what's happening here? do i even know what's really happening here,...
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"so what do you do?"
it's my favorite introduction-phase question to ask.
"well, i work at the bank..."
"no, i mean what do you really do?"
i'm not really interested in where you work, i'm looking for a major piece of what defines you as a person. i'm talking about art, and i believe everyone has at least one, but many don't realize what it...
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life is like being locked in a room with nothing but a toilet, a bed and a TV.
there is only one channel on the TV, there is only one show and it's a never-ending improvisational ad-lib with a lot of bullshit, horseshit and chickenshit in between the good parts.
being that yr the producer, i suggest trying to hire only the finest actors--some of...
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the crazy, freaky nurse--
i hadn't seen her in a year and had hardly kept in contact since last time. last september we were supposed to go camping in Moab for a week, just the two of us out in the desert all sweaty and half-naked. for weeks prior to the trip she'd call and make me promise that i was really going and wasn't...
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i hate seeing my family, heroes and the few celebrities that i esteem get old.
last night i watched George Carlin's "It's Bad For Ya," the last of his HBO specials that was filmed shortly before he died this year.
even though i had a hard time getting past the fact that he looked old and angry to me, kind of the way Clint Eastwood...
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at 3am the thought occurred to me:
"hm...i got all dressed up like i was going out."

everything has its place, everything goes back in its place no matter the extenuating circumstances.
every day i wake up and know that everything is in its right place even if i can't remember what happened, where i was or how i got home. at any given moment, you can count on the notion that in my front left pocket, right next to my cigarette...
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most people are set in their ways of doing things, right down to minute tasks.
they've inadvertently ritualized it.
maybe that's not accurate--maybe i'm the only one who thinks about it,
but either way, my life is full of rituals, it is my own religion.
i was apparently thinking about the act of shaving as a ritual
when a specific incident related to shaving came...
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stasis.
yesterday was my saturday.
often people, when facing a few days off would call that their friday, but that's ridiculous. today is sunday. i'm off till wednesday.
fuckin' a.
it was one of those days when everything is great.
it feels as if something has aligned perfectly, whether it be the planets or dust,
doesn't really matter, the point and the fact is that...
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Brad and Emilee had their baby yesterday.
that leaves me, Robbie and Craig as the only three of our immediate tribe that have never been married or had children on purpose or otherwise. my twin soul doesn't think that she's able to conceive, but i think she'll be surprised before too long. Craig's ideal woman is beyond my realm of imagination, while rob's is more...
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it says there's no such thing as a problem without a gift in its arms for you.
wasn't much of a problem, but i'll take the gift.
all that's left is just irrational fear.
it's the thought of how inevitable it is that we'll run into each other.
the worst part of breaking up is living in a small town.

in the meantime(and completely unrelated...
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been craving a few days that held nothing on their to do lists.
spring semester into summer semester into family reunion into two funerals is how it's been going.
been thinking about her still, despite the distractions of traveling, playing, writing and rock-star style partying.
told her we'd get together and talk when i returned.
thought she liked me. thought maybe she ended it the...
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