klo_klo

you know when little kids hold a chicken and they're so scared it'll fly away that they squish it?
or when you catch bugs when you're little and you try to recreate their habitat in a plastic container, and then they die?

that's me
i appreciate what i have so much that i suffocate it
and it's exactly why i'll probably kill it

:'(


why can't i just have faith?

i've always been that crazy girl
the butterfly
the one that makes them go "whoa"
i've always saved them
showed them there's more to life

and it's been that exact life in me
that is the ruin of me

not this time

this time
he is so happy
he is perfect
and centred
and certainly doesn't need me
or direction
or saving

he has it all

and i wake up next to him going "why the fuck are you with me?"

i know how awesome i can be
for people who need something awesome in their life

but for someone so fucking amazing
i'm nothing but an emotional rollercoaster
a headcase

and i'm struggling to comprehend
which places greater pressure on him
cos he just wants me to accept it
but uggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

doing my fucking head in



freedom: