klair

BEFORE YOU READ THIS, BE WARNED!!!
this journal entry is nothing more that a vent.
it will bore the pants off you, so you may aswell move along now.
it was only meant to be a short entry but as i have been typing it, the arguements have begun again


hmmm.........


so,

me & neil split up last night, over the phone at stupid o'clock. for a stupid reason & i wasn't upset.
this morning, after he'd rang me to say that he didn't really mean it, he was just angry & that he's still coming home tomorrow (he's been in telford for a week), the tears came flooding.



that's pretty fucked up really.

i was upset that things are ok, but the thought of the last 3 years going down the pan did nothing (except for make me want a fag)



is it just me, or is that a really bad sign?






........and, as i have been typing this, we've split once again!!
.

for fucks sake, boy get a fucking grip!

i'm so sick of all of this.
he thinks he can treat me however he wants & i'll take it all because no guy will ever want me because of the kids.

NEWSFLASH, neil:

i do not need a man to make my life complete.
yeah, so i'll have trouble getting a serious boyfriend (thats if i ever get one) but who says i want one. i have been somebodys girlfriend for the last 5 years, straight from one relationship into another, because i chose to, not because i am incapable of being single.

i know tomorrow when ( if ) he comes back it will be a different story & i will get a half-arsed apology that he doesn't really mean but is just rehearsing some speach he planned on the train because he has no-where else to go.

this is it now. no more break-up/make-up shit he's not worth it.
not in the slightest



i've had enough

granted, he's got a huge cock & i will miss it, but look at the trouble thats got him into! 3 kids, 2 of which he doesn't see & barely a year between them.


i'm so much better than him anyway, it's just taken a few bruises & all this time of him making me feel & worthless for me to realise that.

he thinks he's god because all the little emo kids follow him round like lost sheep.
the little old ladies down the street love him because he's polite to them but if they all knew what he's really like they wouldn't think he's so great
he's nothing but a self-abosorbed, abusive cunt with a nasty temper & a drink problem, who put his own daughter in hospital when she was only 3 months old & i think it's time everyone knew what he's really like

i'm still not upset though

i'm angry but i'm not upest


oh, and neil - you can throw all the insults at me you want but they're not getting to me
my arse is NOT fat, otherwise it wouldn't fit into size 8 jeans




GOODBYE, GOOD RIDDANCE

xxx