kizmet

so i ran away...and here i am in an oddly clutered empty house....someplace mid london.....with a lonely kitty to keep me company....i am bored out of my witts.....i wander about in the cold grey daylight....loads of fun ....what good is anyplace when you are alone...i can feel my mind slipping behind me....i brought along my bag of tricks to self perscribe.....is it working?....my sketches are a bit disturbed....should i keep going with them? ....why not...not to many choices.....my dreams have become unbearable....nathan has apeared in a few....left me in tears with the last one...i do not belong anyplace or with anyone...yet i hate being alone....what the hell am i going to do with myself....i think on tuesday i return to the flat...but i don't even know that much....i think i was happy at first.....am i just depressed?...will i always be this way?...will i ever feel safe with anyone?....why did nathan give me up?....am i so hard to love?....the solitude is overwhelming me....i want someone to rescue me now...