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kizmet

through the looking glass

Member Since 2004

Followers 103 Following 95

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Tuesday Jan 25, 2005

Jan 24, 2005
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someone please talk to me i'm breaking

nathan just called...he doesn't want me...not in france and not here..he let go of me...i'm now suposed to look normal and go to work...the job that i already turned my notice into...all my things are packed up....all my jobs will be gone in a month...and my health insurance...i'm in hell...i realy thought he wanted me...i gave my whole life up in this place to be with him... even thought about moving to florida with him...it's what he said he wanted...i was wrong...he doesn't want me...i'm a fucking idiot

*************

i won't atack him.....
he means to much to me....it's best that he tell me now then have waited till i was in france.....i pictured staying with him for a long time......and that's not what he wants....he can't help the way he feels......i would have known.....to know that someone hates the idea of comeing home to you.....i think i did know....he just didn't see me the way others have....i didn't feel like he realy wanted me.....but i think he realy thought he did.....so out of hope i went along with it....(that's me being the idiot).....at least my last memories of us are good ones....i'll take those and go on my way....it's what he says he wants....it hurt him to hurt me....at least he cares a littel....god why did i have to love him....but if he's happy....i want him to be happy....he needs someone that will make him happy

************

i'm going to go some place....everything is set and i have nothing left here.....and maybe i will find someone who sees me for who i am and loves me for it....or maybe i'm ment to be alone....i don't know....i don't want cracks in my heart to jade me....but how do i calm the pain....what do i do with myself.....i'm afraid no one will realy ever want me....i'm so lost now

************

once again... broken girl for sale....i don't know how bad the damage is...she may be only good for spare parts...must go...will sell cheap
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
tororo:
Hi... for some time now I had bookmarked your journal and was planning to say hi... what may I add to this "hi" now, except that I feel for you and I wish you the best?
Jan 25, 2005
crimsond:
Thank you for your comment !

I hope that you feel better than yesterday, and that the storm moves away.

As for this photograph in particuler, that made a few time that I pass in front of these three trees and that I think of photographing them... and it is done!
Jan 26, 2005

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