kittykatznme

I haven't posted in a while because I don't know what to say. It has been a couple of months since Jen's pacemaker surgery, she is a bit better but still weak. I thought that she would be stronger by now, and in less pain than she is. She is looking forward to a heart transplant, I am not so positive. I know that sex is off the table right now, and i don't think that it ever will be like it used to be. We both liked it a bit rough, but now i am afraid of hurting her, or causing a heart attack. She has been living downstairs with her parents since August because she can't walk up the stairs, and they could not get her hospital bed upstairs. I want the closeness of a sexual relationship, but I need something more than pity cripple sex. I need release, but i don't want to cheat. What can I do?