...Thanks to all the boys who attempted to make me feel better on my last outlash...
....so spring is officially here (it began on Saturday).....and instead of focusing on what happened in the past......i need to work on my new transition...........i need to fess up to the fact that this year has been quite heinous for me.........at ostara ritual on Saturday we discussed maintaining equilibrium in our lives, which involves looking at the past and the future.........last year at this time i was on the brink of suicide trying to graduate, finish my honors dissertation, and getting into graduate school.......well, I got by BA in physics and mathematics.....received an honors designation in of Cum Laude in physics.....But my entire world came crashing down when i didn't get into a grad program.......committees find you quite a fright if you do bad on the physics GRE....no matter how much research experience you have.........so this brings me to my world now.....my year off from school..............i decided to take a total break off from science, because after being rejected, i questioned whether it was for me..........so, here i am, a full time barista...and that's about it.....on the upside Ive found time to read all those books that had been piling up while i had been studying.........my life was far from being stable while i was in school......but, since being out, i have less to do, but yet i feel even more unstable..........luckily, i didn't turn my back on astronomy and will be returning to school in the fall to pursue by Phd. in astrophysics............it's interesting.....my life didn't stop being horrifying until i got my first acceptance call........as if some committee somewhere gave me permission to have my life back.....which means for about 9 months I lived every month terrified of the next day...........i wish i wouldn't of let that happen....i've realized the only one who brought me down was myself...........so, i've decided to try and make the most of my "time off".........gotta make sure i enjoy everything and everyone i love here in colorado..........because coming in September................my life will be crammed with interesting work (which will no doubt be another balancing act)...............i know when i get there the strongest memory of now ill be of ample sleep..................doesn't it drive you crazy when your awaken because operators and IDL procedures are chasing you down the street...
....so spring is officially here (it began on Saturday).....and instead of focusing on what happened in the past......i need to work on my new transition...........i need to fess up to the fact that this year has been quite heinous for me.........at ostara ritual on Saturday we discussed maintaining equilibrium in our lives, which involves looking at the past and the future.........last year at this time i was on the brink of suicide trying to graduate, finish my honors dissertation, and getting into graduate school.......well, I got by BA in physics and mathematics.....received an honors designation in of Cum Laude in physics.....But my entire world came crashing down when i didn't get into a grad program.......committees find you quite a fright if you do bad on the physics GRE....no matter how much research experience you have.........so this brings me to my world now.....my year off from school..............i decided to take a total break off from science, because after being rejected, i questioned whether it was for me..........so, here i am, a full time barista...and that's about it.....on the upside Ive found time to read all those books that had been piling up while i had been studying.........my life was far from being stable while i was in school......but, since being out, i have less to do, but yet i feel even more unstable..........luckily, i didn't turn my back on astronomy and will be returning to school in the fall to pursue by Phd. in astrophysics............it's interesting.....my life didn't stop being horrifying until i got my first acceptance call........as if some committee somewhere gave me permission to have my life back.....which means for about 9 months I lived every month terrified of the next day...........i wish i wouldn't of let that happen....i've realized the only one who brought me down was myself...........so, i've decided to try and make the most of my "time off".........gotta make sure i enjoy everything and everyone i love here in colorado..........because coming in September................my life will be crammed with interesting work (which will no doubt be another balancing act)...............i know when i get there the strongest memory of now ill be of ample sleep..................doesn't it drive you crazy when your awaken because operators and IDL procedures are chasing you down the street...
Congrats on the acceptance. You'll find that most people will have a tough time at some point in their lives after college. It's the ones who hang in there that eventually make it.
--astr