Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

kirin_ka

Member Since 2004

Followers 25 Following 169

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Dec 18, 2007

Dec 18, 2007
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
I think I fried my motherboard, not sure, gonna have to get it checked out.

I am currently serving as a juror on a case, yay. But while waiting to be selected I had a great revelation. I need to help people.

I have a hunger that has been devouring me for as long as I can remember, and no matter what I try to fill it with it just consumes more. I used to call the things I fed my hunger addictions because they would sate the beast for a period of time but only if I immersed myself in it's indulgence. Each time it has been wrong, but each time there was something else that I never realized my hunger searched for. I always thought they coexisted, but it's helping people my hunger craves. My hunger craves smiles and tears of joy. I don't help people so I feel needed, I don't offer advice so I am heard and acknowledged, I do it to sate the beast. Even though I have found the cause I still have yet to find the solution.

Hopefully soon I will be advocating foster children and hanging out with them a few hours a week. I have decided and started my path down the road to become a sign language interpreter, which is helpful but I think the decision was based on me being lazy and not wanting to bring work home with me. I offer people advice as often as I can. Still the void consumes me. I have yet to find the right helpfulness that will illuminate this darkness inside me. I don't feel this need to "buy my way in to heaven" or make up for previous misdeeds. I believe I am a decent human being, but I know I can be a great one. I don't mean great as in famous, I mean great as in I don't toss and turn in my sleep anymore because I don't feel like I am making a positive impact on this world. I want to affect the world, I just can't seem to figure out how.

I found the key to immortality. Immortality is obtained through ones ideas. You spread and grow with each heart you touch, and those hearts pass you along with an idea of themselves to other hearts. You live forever becoming a great entity that changes lives. That is how you live forever. A piece of you spread throughout the world surviving as long as a heart and mind still hold you.

There is a downside to wanting to be helpful and it has to do with relationships, but that is for another time and another blog.
sweetnepenthe:
fuck yea! it's soooo metal!
biggrin

all of your advice has really helped me out smile it's so nice to hear that there are still people who want to do good in the world instead of do things for themselves.

it's hard to keep a relationship with all of that going on. me weakness is choosing a relationship over happiness. which kind of sounds wrong (relationships should make you happy, right?) but i make everything way more confusing than it should be!
Dec 18, 2007
kg:
you and me both, brother. i've had the disposition to help everyone i can for as long as i can remember. it has its ups and its downs, but ultimately, i think that you and i are doing the right thing.
good luck with everything. (:
Dec 18, 2007

More Blogs

  • 04.03.12
    0

    Tuesday Apr 03, 2012

    Working two jobs now, started school this week and have been playing …
  • 03.09.12
    0

    Friday Mar 09, 2012

    What have I been up to? Same job I've had, but I got hired on to an a…
  • 10.21.11
    1

    Friday Oct 21, 2011

    My dreams are being put on hold. Apparently word got around about a …
  • 08.13.11
    0

    Sunday Aug 14, 2011

    Awesome Finnish cinema. This production company started with a 7 min…
  • 05.30.11
    1

    Tuesday May 31, 2011

  • 04.08.11
    0

    Saturday Apr 09, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.27.10
    1

    Saturday Nov 27, 2010

    Happy Holidays.
  • 10.08.10
    4

    Friday Oct 08, 2010

    Been working on getting a company started. Hope you're well.
  • 01.26.10
    1

    Wednesday Jan 27, 2010

    I had forgotten how much I love to read. I now have a pile of books …
  • 12.26.09
    0

    Sunday Dec 27, 2009

    Happy Jollydays.

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
28
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,600 SuicideGirls
  • 1,115,555 followers
  • 14,951,127 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,470,704 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo