kirin

He did it again. When he was supposed to leave to come here I got a text saying everything fell apart and he was going in to work instead. It's not coincidence anymore that this only happens on the weekends we're supposed to see each other. I told him I didn't believe him and I wanted his boss to call me. She never did. I have access to track his phone with seekdroid and it did show him at work all day but at this point that's no excuse. He hasn't made one of our scheduled visits since the beginning of November. This is it. I'm done. Every one of my friends and family are backing me on this. I don't know why I'm still a little weak for him but I know I need to stay strong in ending this. This will never stop unless I have the strength to end it.

I'm going to talk to the realtor I already had lined up on Monday about listing my house. The sooner I can move away from here the better I'll be able to sever ties with him. I'm going to miss the friends I've made dearly but there's nothing for me here and I miss my family. I'm so isolated from them here.

He's been deleted from my phone and FB, soon to be blocked on here I think, and probably on Skype also. I got a home phone so I could talk to him from bed so I think I can let that cancel in April rather than renewing.

He hasn't made much effort to contact me today. I'm starting to think I was just sex to him and he's tired of me and is moving on. He probably did months ago and that's why I've seen him once since the time he was here the first weekend in November. I just wish he would stop lying to me.

In a way I'm excited to move back to Phoenix and start a new life by myself and for myself but being this on my own scares the shit out of me. I know my family won't let me fall but I don't want to lean on them too much and wear out my welcome.

Basically, sad and scared, and hating it. My friends and coworkers here have rallied around me and told me to burn all his stuff. I asked him to take everything last time he was here in case he did this to me again but he didn't because he swore he was coming back. Now he's never coming back.