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kirin

Freezing my ass off in Michigan.

SG Since 2010

Followers 3101 Following 993

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Tuesday Apr 12, 2011

Apr 12, 2011
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I know I've been totally slacking on my dream blogs but I haven't had any in a while worth reporting. Instead I'm going to tell you about strange actual events.

If you read my blogs with any regularity you know I'm in the process of getting divorced. As far as I'm concerned my marriage ended between Christmas and New Years. I noticed just before New Years that the clock/picture frame with my wedding pictures in it on my desk at work had stopped working. I haven't replaced the battery for a really long time so I didn't think anything of it really other than it was kind of odd timing. Yesterday while I was at work I closed most of my accounts and opened new ones in just my name and withdrew my ex's portion of our savings so he can put it in his new account and I'm sure they're going to put one hell of a hold on the check because of the amount and he's a new customer and I want him to be able to use the money when he needs it. He had class until 9pm last night and a little after 9:30 when he was home and saw the check I explained why I was giving it to him. Then I got in the shower. While I was in the shower I checked my watch, that was an Easter gift from my ex's mom about 2 years ago, and realized it had stopped working at about 9:45. I think the cosmos are trying to tell me this marriage and things related to it are out of time, or perhaps dead.

After I wrote my emo blog on Sunday and continued crying for a good chunk of the afternoon my ex told me he finally found an apartment and is planning to move out at the end of the first week in May. I am both happy and terribly sad about this. I'm looking forward to getting rid of old things and buying things that are just mine. I'm looking forward to only cleaning my own messes. I'm glad I won't see him every day to remind me of how much this hurts us both. I'm sad because this marriage was supposed to be until we got old and died. I'm also sad because he's taking Faye, one of our 3 kitties who is really his kitty. She is the definition of scaredy cat but she has her sweet moments. Like this morning the setting on the heater was messed up so my house was 62 degrees when I woke up and her chubby little ass was cuddled up on the bed for warmth with me and I have no clue where my two cats where. Brats. I picked Faye and got her as a gift for my ex when she was found as a stray at about 5 weeks old. She learned a lot of her habits growing up from Scooter, who I got when I was 5 and had for 19 years until she went into renal failure and I finally had to put her to sleep because she developed tumors around her intestines who I miss every single day still.

So that's that. My timepieces are telling me things have stopped. In less than a month I will have my own house. I'm not sure if when it happens I'll be elated, depressed, or both. Zarphin has agreed to be with me so I can either cry or drag him around the city shopping for new furniture but either way I won't be alone. I have no idea what I did to deserve such an awesome friend but I'm glad I have him.

miao!!
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
remi:
<3 It will all heal in time love! Keep posting though, it might help. Just to get it out there.
Apr 13, 2011
heatherann:
I've gone through this exact thing, and two years later, I STILL struggle with it from time to time.

*hugs*
Apr 15, 2011

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