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kinto

Los Angeles

Member Since 2003

Followers 90 Following 118

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Thursday Sep 13, 2007

Sep 13, 2007
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How do you guys cope with constant stress? I'm frankly crap at managing this.

For a while, it seems that I have it under control but it often turns out that it's just been building inside of me all this time and it's only waiting for a chance to be let out.

Since I'm not a violent person, at least I don't hurt anybody or myself that way but it tends to end up in binge drinking way too often. I have close to no self-discipline whatsoever when it comes to only "having a drink or two" - let's be honest, I do love drinking - and my high tolerance for all things bottled doesn't help... 9 years in England didn't help either haha fucking drunkard Brits wink

I think it comes from my father side - the "keeping all my worries to myself" bit, not the drinking - and I still wonder to this day how he's managed not to end up totally insane with the amount of shit that's been thrown at him all his life.

I fucking hate stress, it's the worst killer of all - it's behind most diseases. What's the point of being clever if your relentless mind just keeps torturing you whatever you do to try and calm it down? Does this ever stop? I've taken a few steps in the right direction but if I start meditating or reflecting too much, I tend to end up disconnecting from the world even more dangerously so. I am trying to learn to love all the small things and not create more worry; but I feel trapped when I really shouldn't. I keep worrying for N a lot too, if only her job situation could finally improve, it's just ridiculous at this stage.

So yeah, I need a holiday because my job is killing me: it's totally insane, we're so under-staffed it's not even funny and the projects keep on coming (I'm tired of conference calls at 9PM with Taiwan or Australia). But, as an ex-gf of mine once said quite accurately, "the problem when you go on holiday is that you always bring yourself with you". But I could deal with this. On a beach, somewhere far away. Sometime next year, whatever it takes, I'll fuck off to the Bahamas or some place like this for a while.

To end up on a nicer note (you can put your gun down), the flat search is over!! Halle-fucking-lujah.

We didn't even end up renting a tiny apartment we barely liked at a stupid price in a faraway location, nope! We'll be living on North Clark, a 5 minute walk from Lincoln Park (that will be awesome to run there), with lots of restaurants and pubs just outside the building (there's a 30 second walk to a tapas bar or a Mexican, yay!!). There's even a Big Apple just across the street, which is particularly awesome when you don't have a car and considering the murderous Chi-town winter (I'm scared just writing this). The flat is quite large and although the view is not great (it's the backstreet), there is something absolutely fantastic: the rooftop sun deck has a totally un-obscured 360 degree view of the whole town. Fa-bu-lous I tells ya.

The wind is turning, I can feel it and it's finally allowing me to breathe a little. 2007 has been the worst year I've had since 2000, and it's high time it just goes away.

Much love from me my lovelies. And yes yes yes I owe you many comments and replies. As soon as I find a (non-alcoholic) way to turn the white noise of my brain down, I'll be social again. I miss you too.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
notoriousdug:
I am with you on the stress man, my job is making me near homicidal and I do not much care for it.

If you find an answear other then binge drinking and general surliness please let a brother know.

Glad you guys found a place, that in itself can be a very stressful experience.
Sep 18, 2007
apexxx:
the other 42.12% is groovieness

sorry 2007 was suck ass for ya bro... but you still can have a strong finish to it! smile
Sep 20, 2007

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