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kinowa

Atlanta

Member Since 2005

Followers 10 Following 21

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Thursday Nov 17, 2005

Nov 17, 2005
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My Soul,
Inside cannot be whole.
Given the presence of my sleeve ornament,
It seems that everyone has their share of it.
Always returning it,
With the warranty destroyed.
I wish I could pull it in and hide behind it,
But my arm seems to be endeared by it.
I wish I had something to prove the lunacy of fearing this.
I like people, I believe that everyone has some well intent,
And its no ones fault that this happens to me,
Im sure they dont mean for it to happen.
It is difficult though,
Having the feelings pounding at the door.
I swear, that if I end up hurting others,
I mean nothing by it,
No matter how much I try,
I will always make mistakes,
As with everyone else.
I wish my words had more substance,
More movement within the hearts of others.
I wish that I was a virtuoso,
With the ability to bring your heart to bleed with relation.
I will not ask for anything now.
With the memories repressed as I see you,
I am, numbed by the sight, and I am confused.
Why dont I feel something?
I feel potential, but something is holding back,
Perhaps its my own potential which I know I lack.
Could it have been hope itself that kept me hoping?
Perhaps something clicked beneath the shell.
Maybe when I saw you, instead of rekindling the hope,
It made it disappear.
Do I now see clear, or am I now afraid,
Of another failed attempt,
Have I finally been jaded?
Into your eyes, as I stare, I care more now,
But yet, I am no longer elated.
I am deeply confused by my sleeve ornaments swing,
I care deeply, yet am no longer ambitious for recognition.
What does this mean?
Is it a realization?
Is this for better or worse?
This is my curse.
Stumbling over my words and their meanings,
I wish I had your vocabulary.
I could express these things much clearer.
I hope this change is to your preference.



The Fathomless Reflecting Pool

The lies.
The lies we hide behind.
We mostly know not the truth.
Gazing into the night sky,
I see the tears from the cries
The cries of countless lost.
Lost in confusion,
Lost in ignorance,
Trapped within walls erected by their selves.
We seek things we cannot find.
We redirect what we cannot hide.
The meaning of life.
The search for love.
We look above, for the answers.
Taking initiative, for progress.
There are hopeless points in the world.
Keeping our mind off it daily as we toil.
Waiting for the say to break free the mortal coil.
Curled up in a corner of the Universe.
Completely self absorbed in our own beliefs.
Our faith challenged, those with wavering faith,
Show rage, and disbelief.
This reaction, because we fear Nothingness.
Is Nothingness, truly that horrible.
Are we too ambitious to satisfy ourselves with the time allotted us.
Crying, asking if we have wasted our time.
Forget times past, but know them as well.
True waste of time, comes from repetition.
Learn from the bad times, and prevent recurrences.
Look deep inside, be who you are.
I will lose this frame in the morning, so tonight all I can do is give a warning.
My mind has been devouring itself, contemplating, second-guessing.
Changing that is a task, as well as learning this lesson.
Earning my way, making my way.
If something is meant to come along,
So be it, it shall be what it is.
No more meaningless sex, this is my resolve.
Although, this is doomed to be a personal vex.
If it continues, the meaning will be lost forever.
Staring at the stars, looking down,
Into a pool, of infinite sadness,
A basin of Faithless strife,
Looking in, I see the stars again
Only seeing, what has already been seen.
I need no consolation, I need no recognition,
No time for me is needed, I am only another person
Doing my best, as well as my worst.
I try to be well-intentioned, but find myself mostly unintentioned.

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