kinjita

Reggae must heal the soul, I been listening to reggae almost non stop for a solid 2 months. Mostly Damian, Ziggy, Stephen and Buju. Hatred has been in my soul ever since I could remember. It faded for a little while while I was with my ex-girl back in the day, who was also my best friend at the time. But after she left, I fell and I fell hard... I was weakend and a hatred for life and people enveloped me and consumed my soul. It almost seemed like I was in the back seat and someone else took over my life for me. This other me fed on hate, it was like hatred was burning inside of me.I went with it for about five years, during the last few years though I have tried to free myself, but to no avail. I only ended up with another me who was a medium, between my old sensitive, quite self (whom was in the back seat). This new persona was my attempt at finding ballence, kept my hate in check but replaced it with emptiness. Anyway back to the point...

I don't quite understand it, but it seems like all the reggae I have been listening to not only freed my soul of hate, but completly destroyed my other two personas. I feel as I have just awoke from a coma, a little weak and vulnerable. Now that I seem to be one, and my hate is cleansed, I do not quite know where to go from here... sure It is a good start to finding some form of peace of mind, but I have no idea on how to move foreward. I have been single for 7yrs, and in that time most of my friends have moved on in life. I seem to be where I wish I was 7 yrs ago. I am walking alone and it seems time has left me behind. I don't even remember how to meet new people. Ah well one day at a time I supose, I'll focus on getting out of debt for the time being.