kingoftown

years and years ago a friend of mine and myself got into a conversation about fruit, and what we felt was the sexiest fruit in all the land. banana he says. pretty obvious why, very phallic, can't really watch a girl eat one without thinking many dirty thoughts. i've always had this thing about green apples, no red, just green for some reason. and fresh ones. i don't know why, but there's something very sensual about biting into a big, fresh juicy green apple. not so much the sound. not at all actually. but the sweetness, and the way the juices just kind of explode and dribble out your mouth. that sounds kind of gay, but fuck it. i think it's dead sexy.

so why this talk of sexy fruit you wonder? let's just say that for reasons way to awesome to get into, that for the past week or so i haven't been able to so much as think of the word peach without damn near shooting a load in my pants. rather graphic, i know this. but you guys and gals have no idea. well, one of you definitely knows.

the rest of you, just use you imagination.

moving on....

anyone remember Reagans profile a long time ago. what she had listed under body mods? severed middle and ring finger so i can be all metal, all the time. one of the many, many reasons why she's the queen. god damn that's fantastic.

Ben Wallace just slammed Shaqs big stupid giant ass to the ground. wow! FUCK SHAQ!!!

it's a damn shame that's the first time i've been excited during the whole Pistons/Heat series. and it's fucking game 5. my boys have been playing like assholes. i'm confident in them picking up the win tonight. but it kills me to admit that Miami has pretty much got this series wrapped up. i don't know what pisses me off more: the Pistons playing like gods all season and then going all limp dick in the playoffs or the thought of Shaq winning another title and having to deal with all his fucking stupidity.

what can cure these basketball blues?

now, it's pretty clear where my allegiance stands on this website. but in all honesty, i don't think there's a more beautiful woman around these parts. and for the love of everything sacred and holy! peach!

good lord.

so tomorrow night i leave for the beautiful town of Indiana, Pennsylvania. don't ask. no SG for 3 days. fucking bummer.

and if anyone has any extra plane tickets to Denver laying around just collecting dust, i'll happily take them off your hands. i promise everyone here that i want to be there more than anyone else in the world. so come on, help a guy out.

be good.