Here's the story on the girl my mom wants me to "court" (courting is the word Filipinos use to mean dating) and end up marrying. Her nickname that people call her is Jay. She didn't explicitly state "I want you to marry this girl," but she did say that she hopes that one day eventually that we'd get married.
First, we'll start with the fundamental problems here. Getting married does not equal happiness.
My mom seems to think that you get married, and then you grow to love the person. That may be the way they did it in the jungle or 35 years ago, but I am NOT okay with that.
Second, my mom is Filipino, and I'm American. She was born and raised in the jungle, I was born and raised in small town (white) America. (It really is the jungle. She brought me to where she grew up. Dirt roads, bamboo houses, and palm tree and rice everywhere.) She has a different thought process that mine. Whatever that is, no non-Filipino will ever be able to figure that out. Start up a conversation with a Filipino over a complex subject like why Pasta Alfredo is NOT spaghetti or how to get from point A to point B on a map and you'll see for yourself. They get confused quickly. Call my house and the first 30 seconds of your phone conversation will be you and my folks going back and forth saying hello. This is an actual conversation I had with my stepdad on Monday.
Don't get me wrong, I love my folks, but for me to have conversations like that every day of my life, I'd carve my eyeballs out of my head with a butter knife.
Third, Jay is directly associated with my aunt Satan.
Fourth, she's trilingual. (My people speak English, Cebuano, and Tagalog.) No offense to the bilingual+ speakers out there, but when your folks are talking in front of you and you have no idea what the hell is going on, and then they're all gossiping and then say your name and laugh, it sticks with you.
Fifth, and probably the biggest reason why I have no interest in this girl, is because my mom is trying to force this girl down my throat.
I don't hate Filipinos. I'm proud of my Filipino heritage, proud of the accomplishments they have done, and especially proud of my mom for being so strong in the face of adversity and discrimination. I just don't want to marry one, not at this point in my life and not in the manner my mom wants me to go about getting married.
i have a lot of people in my family that arn't filipino, and when i see the other non-filipinos moms try to mingle with the filipino moms, it's just so sad because they still talk to each other in their own language and don't really include anyone else - it's so weird!