kingmike

Once again Mike has opened his mouth and let stuff out he shouldn't have.

I've really started to open up a lot more in the past week at work. I'm saying a lot more Mike styled things and I'm making jokes about folks. Jane and Marie keep laughing so it's all good. It's not completely Mike styled, just mainly situational observations. For instance, the folks who are in charge of our copier machine service were here today. I was talking to Marie and I made a comment about the cute copy girl that was the assistant of the attractive blonde one that was at work the second day I was there. The cute new one was supposed to be training us and it was getting late and I told Marie I would stay after to have her teach me. That way I could take her out to dinner and she could show me anything that she wanted to. Then I told her that what I said came out wrong. But they were laughing, so it was all good. I told Marie that, "Hey, I'm single, I'm going to be checking out girls." Then Marie asked me what I thought about Sandy, and I told her that I thought she was cute, and that single mothers might have bothered me in the past, but not now. So now Marie knows I have a crush on Sandy.

Having a crush on some girls is like using drugs. You know you shouldn't do it because the negative effects will outweigh the good, but you keep doing it and feeling guilty for doing so, and you won't stop until you get what you're lusting after, or you go cold turkey and cut ties completely. Marie likes me, so maybe she'll put in some good words for me with Sandy, and then Sandy will let me take her to dinner and stuff. I'm letting her be the one to come after me, not that it worked all that great the last time I was approached first, but this way it doesn't look like I'm at work to pick up girls.

Saw the ATHF movie on Tuesday with Rick. I'm a big fan of the ATHF, but the movie sucked I thought. It was amusing, but it wasn't piss my pants funny like the first MC Pee Pants episode or the Dickesode episode. The opening was the only part that got me laughing uncontrollably, and it was fucking hilarious. Here is the second opening song. Absolutely fucking hilarious.



Mastodon - Cut you Up with a Linoleum Knife

Don't talk, watch!
Don't talk, watch!
You came here. Watch it.
Don't like it? Walk out.
We still have all your ****ing money.

Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you.
I'm sitting there!
I am everywhere at once
and I will cut you up.

If you make out here,
I will cut your lips and tongue
from your head
with a linoleum knife.

Do not explain the plot.
If you don't understand, then you should not be here.
Your money is our money
and we will spend it on drugs.

Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly.
Be considerate to others,
or I will bite your torso
and give you a disease.

Did you bring your baby?
Babies don't watch this.
Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets.
Run over it after the show.

If I see you videotaping this movie,
Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid
and dissolve your testicles
and turn your guts into snakes.

This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner.
If I find that you've sold it on eBay,
I will break into your house
and tear your wife in half.