kingmike

This is one blog you'll never see on my Myspace page. I save some blogs for here because they deal with people I don't necessarily want reading them.

This is the condensed version of what has been going on with my "love life."
Okay, there was this girl that contacted me on Myspace. Her name was Myra. We chatted and wrote messages back and forth and became really close, or so I thought. Then one night she disappeared. I wasn't going to freak out, even though I was dying to know what happened. I broke down and wrote to her friend Lizzy, who is also on Myspace and one of my friends there. Lizzy didn't have Myra's number, but then Myra did call her and explained that her computer blew up. Okay, great, no big deal, I can wait until she gets back to college as she was on home for winter break. It was another week, and then Lizzy gave me her hotmail address. So I e-mailed her, trying to get things back to where they were when we left off, come to find out, she found a man in the two weeks I didn't hear from her.

She said it was because she didn't think that she would be able to get back in contact with me, and she didn't know where she stood with me. Basically, she gave up on me. Of course I told her that I didn't give up on her, but I was disappointed that she found someone. Then for the past week she was agonizing over what to do. I wanted to be with her, but so did her man, and she didn't want to hurt either of us. Her stupid friends kept on e-mailing to me what she wrote to him and what he wrote to her. After a while I just deleted the e-mails. Then I got one from a different friend of hers, and I opened it up so I could mark it as spam. Inside I found a page pasted of her livejournal, going down the list of reasons why she should stay with her man. I wrote her a goodbye e-mail, and that was that.

But then I cracked, and checked her livejournal because she didn't write me after that goodbye e-mail. She seemed angry that she was wondering why she felt like she had to choose. What the hell was all the fuss about the past week e-mailing me and telling me that she didn't want to hurt me and she still wanted to be friends and shit? Why make it seem like I have a chance, and then be angry that she felt like she had to choose? She seemed mad that I was persistent. I wouldn't have been if I felt like she wasn't giving me a chance. She kept e-mailing me and saying she didn't know what to do, and she didn't want to lose either of us. Okay, I didn't want to lose her either, so what do you expect me to do, fucking roll over and play dead and tell her to go away, when she said she didn't want to lose either of us? In her second to last e-mail to me she said she would be sad if I wasn't in her life, and that she thought that we still could be close. She doesn't seem so sad now.

And then, it wasn't explicitly stated, but she inferred that she compared me to what happened in the Ohio incident, and then she said it goes to show that you are who you hang with. Well, if you are who you hang with, then she's a stupid bossy, nosy bitch who tries to control her friends' lives, who breaks into their friends' e-mails and sends it to people that weren't intended to read it, and do it again even when they got yelled at already for it. Her one friend did that, and there was the one who e-mailed me the reposted blog. It was not as bad as breaking into Myra's personal e-mail, but it still was rude and what was going on was none of her fucking business. I have ONE friend who did what he did and once he did it I stopped hanging out with him because I did not agree with what he did. I'm not going to control his life and interfere and tell him he's a piece of shit.

Oh well, another one bites the dust. It feels like I am being punished for something, because every time I try to start a relationship, shit always fucking happens. Always. I get close, I think I find someone really good, and then I get kicked in the balls. Oh well, time to move on.