Life. Plans. Do I have plans for life? I'm closing in on 30. I feel like I'm missing the boat, like I should have had things in my head the entire time of how I needed to get to where I want to be right now. Am I supposed to just let the pieces fall into place? Were things supposed to turn out this way? Is there really anything to figure out and is life just supposed to happen like this?
It seems some people have a concrete plan already in place. They know what they want to be when they grow up, they get married and have kids, they buy a house, a car, and life is all good. I keep telling myself, once I get a job, everything will fall into place. I still don't know what kind of job that I want. I have career aspirations, but they aren't realistic at the moment, and if I was to pursue them, I still would need a job to finance that. Life tells you that once you graduate college, you find a job soon thereafter. I have a lot of varied interests and nothing in my mind sticks out as something that I want to do way more than something else. I feel like I'm being indecisive, but at the same time I don't want to commit to something that might not work out. Basically, I just don't want to fuck things up. I want to do it right and I want it done right the first time, especially when it comes to my well being financially and as a human.
I believe in God and in karma, so I feel like it is finally my turn for my life to be what I want it to be. If I get this job in Dunkirk with the third largest roofing contractor in the country, I feel like this would be the first step to the rest of my life. I'd be able to pay off bills, move out of the house, buy my own house, and live life on my own once again. Then hopefully somewhere down the line, I'd find or some woman would find me that would love me completely, we'd get married, have two kids, I'd buy a boat and a bigger house with a pond, and we'd live happily ever after. I know it never works out that way but damnit, it is not going to stop me from trying. What could make you happier than having the love of family or those close enough to be family? I think true love is loving others and knowing that they love you in return, and to me, that is what life is about.
It seems some people have a concrete plan already in place. They know what they want to be when they grow up, they get married and have kids, they buy a house, a car, and life is all good. I keep telling myself, once I get a job, everything will fall into place. I still don't know what kind of job that I want. I have career aspirations, but they aren't realistic at the moment, and if I was to pursue them, I still would need a job to finance that. Life tells you that once you graduate college, you find a job soon thereafter. I have a lot of varied interests and nothing in my mind sticks out as something that I want to do way more than something else. I feel like I'm being indecisive, but at the same time I don't want to commit to something that might not work out. Basically, I just don't want to fuck things up. I want to do it right and I want it done right the first time, especially when it comes to my well being financially and as a human.
I believe in God and in karma, so I feel like it is finally my turn for my life to be what I want it to be. If I get this job in Dunkirk with the third largest roofing contractor in the country, I feel like this would be the first step to the rest of my life. I'd be able to pay off bills, move out of the house, buy my own house, and live life on my own once again. Then hopefully somewhere down the line, I'd find or some woman would find me that would love me completely, we'd get married, have two kids, I'd buy a boat and a bigger house with a pond, and we'd live happily ever after. I know it never works out that way but damnit, it is not going to stop me from trying. What could make you happier than having the love of family or those close enough to be family? I think true love is loving others and knowing that they love you in return, and to me, that is what life is about.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
easy. Hippies.
i dont know why but i'm just sex crazed today hahah i told chris he had better be prepared for the wrath of horny keri!!! haha
you really have a thing for voices. what qualifies for a good voice to you?
And I read your blog... When I got more time, I will tell you about my "approaching 30" worries, and how I am overcoming them... It would be a novel, so I will have to warn you...
Anywho, hope you are having a good weekend... Take it easy!