Ever notice that sometimes your best laid plans can go down the shitter in a wink of an eye? Well scratch today of the fun list, my sissy will be off this evening so that means my plans with Margaret are cancelled. Still trying to figure out tomorrow.
Tina was giving me a slight attitude about the whole "you're 40 years old, you should be able to have guests spend the night, blah, blah, blah" thing. Gee, thanks for making my self-esteem even lower. Um, I already know how pathetic I am to be living back here again. But it's all I can afford and keep my status in the band going. Do I think the house rules are stupid? Of course! But, it is her house and I got to respect them...well, at least to her face. I can go the sneaky route. I feel like I'm back in HS or something, sneaking girls in!
I think what bothers Tina the most is she used to stay over here. But, things sure did change when I moved away. I got read the whole list of rules before I even stepped foot back in here. And then I got caught red handed with Margaret one time and sissy hit the roof! Fucking embaressing. According to her twisted Catholic logic, she would be as big a sinner as I am by letting premaritial sex happen under her roof. Yup, this is what I deal with. And that is why I keep everything on the sly. I guess you're figuring I'm running a regular whorehouse, I'm lucky to have a visitor once every other month. Such is the life of the lonliest Sheckie.
Bah, I'm better of single anyway. It would take one understanding woman to put up with my quirks and quarms. Let alone my current living situation. Besides, I can spend any leftover change I have from my meager salary on the most important person...me!
This is the same argument I gave Mr. Social last night as well. He's planning another 9 day Sheckie tour come November. I told him in no uncertain terms that I'm spending the money on me. I gave up a lot for the big tour in July. My expenses alone for buying the band t-shirts and tour was close to $1,200. Chump change to most, but a bank to me. Oh, I'm more than willing to go out there, just don't count on my debit card this time. I'm have a Crowes show to catch in Reading, I'm hoping the rumored Tower Theater shows happen. Plus "The Lost Crowes" and "Who Killed That Bird.." DVD come out the end of this month. Yup, I'm-a spending my money on this stuff. We'll see how much I have leftover afterwards.
He's cool with that, but he did say something that's made me think. He'd be willing to quit the job if it came down to it. I don't know if I'd be as willing. As much as I bitch and moan about the place, I do have a certain comfort level there. And I hate change. Guess I'm a slave for life. It would take some offer to make me jump. Then again, my emotions change at the drop of a hat, so it might be easier come the time. This is just where my thinking is right now.
So I had entirely too much to think about last evening. Chick dilemas, life dilemas, band dilemas, all in one neat compact package. Frankly, all I care about right now is when's the next Crowes show.
I haven't even mentioned yet how I woke up yesterday morning thinking about Andrea (the girl who broke my heart for those keeping score). Ever wake up and there's a thought in your head telling you to do something? Well the thought said "look her up on my space". Sure enough, I found her page. Looks like she's not too active on it, but there she was. I was pretty tempted to send a message, but I resisted. I was going to mention the band and where I'm at. I had every intention of mentioning Cindy as well. I just have some weird thing about staying friends with my ex GF's. It's worked in every other case so far. Must be some dopey Aquarian thing, I dunno. I don't know why I'm so forgiving, especially in her case. This girl wrung me out emotionally. I have to remind myself just how cold she was to me at the end. The affair was brief, but torrid. That's the problem, there was a physical connection. It's hard to wipe that slate clean. I've really done a good job at it these last few years. Don't know where it even came from to look her up. Damn that fucking thought! I'll just have to slip it back deep inside.
Quite the day....how was yours?
Tina was giving me a slight attitude about the whole "you're 40 years old, you should be able to have guests spend the night, blah, blah, blah" thing. Gee, thanks for making my self-esteem even lower. Um, I already know how pathetic I am to be living back here again. But it's all I can afford and keep my status in the band going. Do I think the house rules are stupid? Of course! But, it is her house and I got to respect them...well, at least to her face. I can go the sneaky route. I feel like I'm back in HS or something, sneaking girls in!
I think what bothers Tina the most is she used to stay over here. But, things sure did change when I moved away. I got read the whole list of rules before I even stepped foot back in here. And then I got caught red handed with Margaret one time and sissy hit the roof! Fucking embaressing. According to her twisted Catholic logic, she would be as big a sinner as I am by letting premaritial sex happen under her roof. Yup, this is what I deal with. And that is why I keep everything on the sly. I guess you're figuring I'm running a regular whorehouse, I'm lucky to have a visitor once every other month. Such is the life of the lonliest Sheckie.
Bah, I'm better of single anyway. It would take one understanding woman to put up with my quirks and quarms. Let alone my current living situation. Besides, I can spend any leftover change I have from my meager salary on the most important person...me!
This is the same argument I gave Mr. Social last night as well. He's planning another 9 day Sheckie tour come November. I told him in no uncertain terms that I'm spending the money on me. I gave up a lot for the big tour in July. My expenses alone for buying the band t-shirts and tour was close to $1,200. Chump change to most, but a bank to me. Oh, I'm more than willing to go out there, just don't count on my debit card this time. I'm have a Crowes show to catch in Reading, I'm hoping the rumored Tower Theater shows happen. Plus "The Lost Crowes" and "Who Killed That Bird.." DVD come out the end of this month. Yup, I'm-a spending my money on this stuff. We'll see how much I have leftover afterwards.
He's cool with that, but he did say something that's made me think. He'd be willing to quit the job if it came down to it. I don't know if I'd be as willing. As much as I bitch and moan about the place, I do have a certain comfort level there. And I hate change. Guess I'm a slave for life. It would take some offer to make me jump. Then again, my emotions change at the drop of a hat, so it might be easier come the time. This is just where my thinking is right now.
So I had entirely too much to think about last evening. Chick dilemas, life dilemas, band dilemas, all in one neat compact package. Frankly, all I care about right now is when's the next Crowes show.
I haven't even mentioned yet how I woke up yesterday morning thinking about Andrea (the girl who broke my heart for those keeping score). Ever wake up and there's a thought in your head telling you to do something? Well the thought said "look her up on my space". Sure enough, I found her page. Looks like she's not too active on it, but there she was. I was pretty tempted to send a message, but I resisted. I was going to mention the band and where I'm at. I had every intention of mentioning Cindy as well. I just have some weird thing about staying friends with my ex GF's. It's worked in every other case so far. Must be some dopey Aquarian thing, I dunno. I don't know why I'm so forgiving, especially in her case. This girl wrung me out emotionally. I have to remind myself just how cold she was to me at the end. The affair was brief, but torrid. That's the problem, there was a physical connection. It's hard to wipe that slate clean. I've really done a good job at it these last few years. Don't know where it even came from to look her up. Damn that fucking thought! I'll just have to slip it back deep inside.
Quite the day....how was yours?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
lelaina:
stay away from girlies theyre dangerous!!
dot:
thanks for your sweet comment on my set 